Stu Jenks' Fezziwig Press

“Eowyn/Miranda Otto, Dogwood, North Carolina” © 2021 Stu Jenks [Extended Family Series]

“Eowyn/Miranda Otto, Dogwood, North Carolina” © 2021, $175

Price: $175, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

Eowyn is a character from Tolkien's Lord Of The Rings. She is a noblewoman of the Rohan, played marvelously by Miranda Otto in Peter Jackson's films. I admire this character a lot and Ms. Otto as well, for the depth of her portrayal.

I recently re-watched The Two Towers again. It still holds up.

#eowyn, #mirandaotto, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries

“To The Addict Who Still Suffers, Magnolia Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“To The Addict Who Still Suffers, Magnolia Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021, 50 inches tall, $150

Price: $150, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

[Nothing I write here on this site is the opinion of any 12 Step group or world service organization. They are only mine. Yes, I'm violating a Tradition or two by posting this, but, in this time of social media, it doesn't appear the Traditions matter was much as they used to think. I can still hurt AA and CA with my opinions but I'm truly trying not to do that. Anyway, I speak for myself, no one else.]

 

In 1985, after having been sober for around 6 months, I told my therapist Dan Mayercek that I wanted to write a book about my life. He laughed loudly. I pouted.
“Every addict wants to write a book,” he said. “I’d wait on that.”
I pouted some more.

In 2012, I wrote a recovery, post-apocalyptic novel, Step Zero, set in the year 2076. That book and the three others in the series featured recovery and recovering folk but it was mostly a tale about how hope and love can grow even in the worst of times. I do think I got the 12 step meetings right in the books, but the Step Zero series became more about the characters’ lives and struggles and not just about their recovery from addiction.

So here I am, in North Carolina in 2021. Over the past couple of years, I’ve made a bunch of walking sticks and other wall pieces, honoring friends, family and other people I admire. One of those sticks is for the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill W.

And then a dangerous thing happened. I thought I might have something to say. I have been sober for 36 years, don’t you know (doesn’t mean I know anything) and I have worked in the recovery field for over 25 years as a therapist. (There, I’ve learned some things, or at least I think I have.)

Here’s how it gets complicated. If I was simply a counselor sharing my opinions, that’s fine, but I’m also a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous and publicly, I’m not even supposed to say I’m a member. But I just did. Nothing, nothing, I say here is the opinion of any 12 Step fellowship as a whole. It’s just what I think and what I think I know about recovery. And by the time the sun goes down, I may have changed my mind on some things, so take all of this with a container of salt.

So here goes:

Below is my assessment of the 12 Steps. I use the plural ‘we’ instead of the singular ‘I’ because that's how the original 12 Steps were written. This is supposed to be funny but I also believe it’s true.

 

The 12 Steps In 60 Seconds by Stu Jenks.

 

Step One: When we drink alcohol or do drugs or whatever, our lives go completely to hell and all rational decision-making goes straight out the window. We’re screwed.

 

Step Two & Three: God, or something greater than ourselves, can help us become unscrewed. We choose our own ideas about God. God Is Love will work for instance.

 

Steps Four & Five: People can help us too. And we might as well take a good hard look at yourselves while we’re at it.

Steps Six & Seven: There’s going to be other stuff we’re going to have to work on throughout our sober lives. Forgive ourselves as best we can. Forgive others too.

Steps Eight & Nine: There’s a bunch of people out there who would really appreciate a sincere apology from us. Commit to being a better person in the future. Recovery is not simply about not drinking or using or whatever. It’s about being better.

Steps Ten, Eleven & Twelve: Keep doing what we’ve been doing up to this point. Continue to be sweet. Give more to others. Be willing to change. Try to be happy. Oh. And don’t drink alcohol or use drugs or whatever, while you doing all the above.

 

“We’re here and we’re free” is the motto of Cocaine Anonymous. We are free from cocaine and all mood altering chemicals and it doesn’t cost a thing to be a member. We’re also physically here for you too, from Los Angeles to Cape Town, South Africa. We are all here to help. We truly are.

I’m not an AA fundamentalist. I believe much has been learned in the treatment of addiction and mental health since Bill wrote the Big Book in the mid 1930’s. To paraphrase the popular AA speaker, Bob Earll, “I’m not going to get brain surgery from a doctor who, the last book he read on the subject was written in 1935.” That being said, the simplicity and brevity of the 12 Steps are a marvelous spiritual path that deepens with each passing year in sobriety. And I’m really happy that the surgeon who took out my prostate in 2020 had a robotic video game as a tool, not just a sharp knife like how they did that surgery 20 years ago.

OK, that's it for now. I'm sure more sober musings will go on my site in the future. Unless the internet goes crazy over what I've just said. I sure hope it doesn't.

Love and light, Stu.

 

#totheaddictwhostillsuffers, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries, #12stuff

“Bill W., Red Maple, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“Bill W., Red Maple, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021, 40 inches by 5 inches.

 

Price: $150, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

Bill Wilson was one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous and the author of the book Alcoholics Anonymous (also known as The Big Book) and the book, Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions (also known as The 12 and 12.) If you want to know more about Bill, wiki and google him and you'll find tons. Also, the documentary film, My Name Is Bill W. is excellent.

In a later post, I'll have a few things to say about recovery, therapy and treatment in general, but not here. Respecting the 12 Traditions and all that.

But Bill W. is definitely part of my Extended Family. 

JDFD. ODAAT.

 

#billw, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries

“For The Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (MMIWGs), Red Bud Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“For The Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (MMIWGs), Red Bud Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021,

Price: Not for sale at this time. This piece can be loaned for shows in galleries and museums, upon request.

 

In the United States, Native American women are more than twice as likely to experience violence than any other demographic. One in three indigenous women are sexually assaulted during her life, and 67% of these assaults are perpetrated by other races. In Canada, it is just as bad if not worse.

Also from Wikipedia is this quote:

"In Canada, according to activists, "thousands of cases" of missing and murdered Indigenous women over the last half-century were not properly investigated due to alleged police bias. The 49 women murdered by serial killer Robert Pickton, who was eventually jailed in 2007, are cited as an example; with families claiming that Pickton was able to go on killing for so long because police had not taken the disappearances seriously because most of the women were sex workers and Indigenous."

Another quote from Lisa Brunner, executive director of Sacred Spirits First National Coalition:

"What's happened through US Federal law and policy is they created lands of impunity where this is like a playground for serial rapists, batterers, killers, whoever and our children aren't protected at all."

The U.S. House did pass the Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2019 (and again in 2021), but the Republican Senate continues to stall it. Another reason to get rid of the filibuster. And un-elect Republican lawmakers as well.

It's horrible what has happen to Native people over the centuries, but these murders and this violence is still happening now. We need to pass laws that expands the ability of law enforcement to work across reservation and state lines. And give more Federal and State monies and more voice to this problem.

And yes, awareness is growing. Canada is working to change their laws and raise their consciousness, but America, as expected, has lagged behind. Yes, Trump and now Biden have given some energy to a US Justice Department task force regarding the murders of native girls and women (with the horrible Trumpian sexist name Operation Lady Justice), but it's only a start. It's not nearly enough.

Artists have expressed their anger and sadness with The Red Dress Project, The Walking With Sisters Project and other works (and me with my MMIWGs wall piece), but it's new laws and more money and the changing of values among White People that is needed.

There is a fine film called Wind River, with Jeremy Renner, Elizabeth Olsen, and Graham Greene, that expresses this crisis well. Yes, there has been some criticism of Wind River with some not-Native people playing some Native parts, but all in all, it's a powerful film. I highly recommend it. I just watched it again last week.

So do what you can. Call your Senators, Congresspeople, and state lawmakers to change the laws and protect these women and girls. Make art and music and films to express your feelings. Or simply talk about it with your family and friends. You will be surprised how few people know about this crisis and this terrible history. 

Keep fighting the good fight.

Love, light and luck,

Stu.

#forthemmiwgs, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries

“Black Elk, Mountain Maple Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“Black Elk, Mountain Maple Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021, 38 inches tall.

Price: $195, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

I first read the book Black Elk Speaks by John Neihardt in the late 1970's. It moved me greatly back then, and it became part of my beginning spiritual journey, which truly didn't take off until I got sober and became a member of a number of 12-Step groups. I'm not trying to sound higher-than-thou here, but Black Elk Speaks was a big deal to me. Sadly that first paperback copy is long gone.

There has been some controversy regarding Neihardt's accuracy of what Black Elk, the Lakota Sioux medicine man, told him in 1930. Perhaps somethings were literally lost in translation, maybe Neihardt didn't understand some things about Lakota spiritual practices, or maybe he just made mistakes, but there are no accounts that say John Neihardt was being exploitative of Black Elk, ever. To the contrary, Black Elk gave John, John's daughter Heidi, and many of John's family members Lakota names and also adopted all of them into his own Native American family. You don't do that for someone you don't like.

And Black Elk was no fool either. He survived The Battle of Little Big Horn, The Buffalo Bill Show, and the Massacre at Wounded Knee. That ain't nothing.

All of that being said, I just reordering Black Elk Speaks today, and I will reread it with new/old eyes. I'm pretty sure it will touch me again, but in new and different ways.

 

Here are a few excerpts from the book:

“When a vision comes from the thunder beings of the west, it comes with terror like a thunder storm; but when the storm of vision has passed, the world is greener and happier; for wherever the truth of vision comes upon the world, it is like a rain. The world, you see, is happier after the terror of the storm.”

“Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking.”

 

“Perhaps you have noticed that even in the slightest breeze you can hear the voice of the cottonwood tree; this we understand is its prayer to the Great Spirit, for not only men, but all things and all beings pray to Him continually in different ways.”

 

“...Crazy Horse was dead. He was brave and good and wise. He never wanted anything but to save his people, and he fought the Wasichus (White People) only when they came to kill us in our own country. He was only thirty years old. They could not kill him in battle. They had to lie to him and kill him that way. I cried all night, and so did my father.”

 

“Everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round . . . The sky is round and I have heard the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind in its greatest power whirls, birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours.”

 

"And while I stood there I saw more than I can tell and understood more than I saw; for I was seeing in a sacred manner the shapes of all things in the spirit, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being. And I saw that the sacred hoop of my people was one of many hoops that made one circle, wide as daylight and as starlight, and in the center grew one mighty flowering tree to shelter all the children of one mother and one father. And I saw that it was holy^."

 

 

#blackelk, #blackelkspeaks, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries.

“Ira Hayes, Dogwood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“Ira Hayes, Dogwood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021, 58 inches tall.

Price: $150, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

Ira Hayes was a Pima Native American man. He was one of the flag raisers on Iwo Jima during World War II. He died young at age 32. They say he died drunk from exposure in a ditch near his reservation in Arizona, but now there are some doubts about that. He probably died in a bar fight and his body was then dumped in that ditch. No autopsy was ever done.

I'm very moved by Ira's story. I'm also from Arizona and I am also an alcoholic, but I had the luck and good grace to get sober in 1985. From what we know, Ira had terrible PTSD after the war, and drank to deal with his pain.

And back in the day, I could have easily died in a bar fight, in a traffic accident, or from my own hand. I never fought in a war, except for the war inside my own head, mostly prior to 1985, and a few days since.

I'm only sober because of a "daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." And also because of the love, tolerance and help from a lot of good people. Thanks, guys.

Rest in peace Ira. Love you, brother. You are family to me, in a sad and unusual way.

By the way, Johnny Cash wrote a song about you. I think you would have liked it.

 

#irahayes, #stujennks, #extendedfamilyseries

All images by Stu Jenks, except for the sunset image of the Washington Monument. That one is an image capture of a 1950's postcard, found in my mother's stuff after her death.

 

“Crane Day, Desert Agave, Arizona” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“Crane Day, Desert Agave, Arizona” © Stu Jenks 2021, 52 inches tall.

Price: $150, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

Crane was my friend.

He died in the fall of 2018 at the age of 81.

Here is a lovely article/obituary from Arizona Daily Star and here is a sweet YouTube video done by the Tucson Weekly of the man in his studio.

Crane's studio was just down the hall from mine. When I came over in the early 2000's from the Toole Shed, Crane couldn't have been more welcoming. We would laugh often and cry sometimes. We would watch Survivor in his studio every week with a number of his closest friends. We would shake our heads at the crazy politics of the time. We would help each other out in little ways.

But what I really miss is his hugs. He was the best hugger. He would grab me and pull me in tight and squeeze me hard as I squeezed him back. He would make a little sound when he hugged me. It was great. Sometimes I would joke, "Jeez, Crane, you keep hugging me like that and I'll turn gay for you." He would laugh every time I said that silly joke.

Also, he had the altar at his home that probably had 50 to 100 prayer cards on it, each personally made by him, with fine calligraphy, for anyone who needed a little help from the Great Almighty. He made them for my sister, for my mother, and for my wife at different times. I still have one of those cards that he made for my sister before she died.

In an odd way, Crane might have saved my life. Instead of going to Gabby Giffords' Safeway Grocery Store outdoor meetup on Jan. 8th, 2011, I went to visit Crane in the hospital instead. When I arrived at his room at Northwest Hospital, she had been shoot just moments before. I was ambivalent about going to see Gabby truly, hadn't really made up my mind, but decided it was more important to go see my friend in the hospital that to shake Gabby's hand. In an profound way, I'm lucky Crane got sick.

He was the greatest guy, an amazing artist, a wonderful human being. He proved that you can be a fantastic artist and be a fantastic person, all at the same time.

I miss him. A lot.

A scarf that he wove hangs in my bedroom above my bed. If Crane's spirit is out and about, I know he is looking down on me and on many others, with small prayer cards in one hand, a twinkle in his eye, and that sweet smile on his face.

I miss you, brother.

May God's love always shine on your spirit.

I don't think I even need to ask God for that. He's been doing that for you for years. For me too. For all of us I suppose. I sure hope so.

Give God a hug for me.

#craneday, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries.

 

“Brad Quillen, Swamp Cottonwood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“Brad Quillen, Swamp Cottonwood, Washington County, North Carolina” © 2021 Stu Jenks, 60 inches tall.

Price: $125, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

In spite of some profound health issues, Brad keeps his wicked sense of humor and his cockeyed view of the world. It's part of his charm. He and Glenn have been together for years. They make a very cute couple. I love them both very much.

Brad has done something amazing too, for me personally. He has taken a deep dive into my ancestral history and found out many things about the Jenks and the Saums that I didn't know: the specifics of the murder of my great aunt Bertie and the tragedy of what happened to her children; the locations of the graves of the Saums in the Valley of Virginia; the history of some of the Jenks that goes back to the mountains of Virginia; and through a DNA test, found out I'm much more Scottish that I thought (a third) which doesn't really surprise me since I've cried hearing the bagpipes since I was a kid. He has spent hours and hours scouring internet records to find such things. He does enjoy it, he says, but still, it's a lot of work, and I'm eternally grateful.

Last Christmas, I visited Aunt Gracie's grave in Wilmington, North Carolina for the first time. I apologized to her for my grandfather and his siblings abandoning her and her brother to an orphanage. I told her I was sorry that I never met her or talked with her about her mother's family who she never knew. I told her I was angry that I didn’t have the chance to hug her and apologize in person, since I could have. (She died in 1994.) It was a very touching moment for me, and I plan to visit Aunt Gracie again soon.

If it wasn't for Brad and his yeoman's work, I would have never known of Gracie, much less been able to kiss her headstone. Thank you, brother.

#bradquillen, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries

“Glenn Courtney, Water Tupelo Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021 [Extended Family Series]

“Glenn Courtney, Water Tupelo Wood, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2021, 57 inches tall

Price: $150, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

Glenn is a saint.

When my mother had to sell the old home place along the Rappahannock River in order to survive after Dad died, Glenn gave Mary Jenks a place to live, his small two bedroom house next door to his home in the Northern Neck of Virginia. He says he was fine with Mom asked him often to do this and that. He really loved my Mom and at times, Mary wasn't the easiest person to love. I’m so grateful to him for that and many other acts of kindness.

He's also been the organist at St. Mary Whitechapel Episcopal Church for over 40 years. They even named the parish hall after him, even though I think he's a little embarrassed by the attention. He's a humble and hard working man.

Glenn is going through some healthy issues right now. If you are a praying person, please hold Glenn in your hearts and in your prayers.

I just saw Glenn and his significant other Brad a few weeks back. They, along with members of the Hardy clan, are the only people I really know anymore in the Northern Neck. Many have died, some I simply weren't that close to in the first place. But as the Buddhist monk once said, "All you really need is the number of friends that you can count on one hand. With that, you will be rich."

I'm a wealthy man.

#glenncourtney, #stujenks, #extendedfamilyseries.

“Governor Roy Copper, Red Oak, North Carolina” © Stu Jenks 2020 [Extended Family Series: & a rant]

“Governor Roy Copper, Red Oak, North Carolina” © 2020 Stu Jenks, 50 inches tall.

Price: $150, shipping included. Simply contact me via my email address at stujenks@gmail.com or Facebook message me, if you would like to purchase one of my pieces. Payments can be made with Paypal, Venmo or credit card with Square. All pieces are signed with its title, and can be hung from the wall. Love y'all, Stu.

 

North Carolina Governor Roy Copper has done a marvelous job dealing with COVID these past months. And it appears my father-in-law Norman and my mother-in-law Carolyn know him personally. I think that’s pretty cool.

Roy, you get a walking stick from me. I'll probably mail it to you as a gift, if it doesn't sell. Thanks for doing a great job for all the people of North Carolina. From what Norman and Carolyn say, you are a very good man.

"Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair facing El Capitan, Arizona" (c) 2012, 2021 Stu Jenks.

 

And now a rant: 6/12/21

From what I’ve been told, Tucson did not receive much winter rain last season, and now they are in a deep drought. The saguaro cactus are all shrunk up and pruney. It’s always dry in Tucson but now it’s really bad.

There’s also a big fire, an hour and a half north of town, near a place called El Capitan, a ridge that I love so much and that I’ve hiked for years. The small towns of Miami and Globe are threatened by the fire too. It’s bad. I read yesterday that they are getting it under control. Thank God.

I wish I could send some rain from North Carolina to them but that’s not how it works. I pray the monsoon rains start like they’re supposed to in July, but who knows.

Global warming is real. Here in North Carolina we’re getting more rain than ever. Out west, they are getting much less. 

Pray for Arizona, and for the states of California, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, and Nevada. They really need the rain.

And pray that we Americans continue to fight for voter rights, for equality and for a healthy Earth.

There are a number of bad Republicans out there, not giving a shit about global warming, only about their own lust for more money and more power. They're trying to eliminate the democracy we have worked so hard to create, passing Jim Crow 2.0 laws in many states.

We progressives need to be nasty now, fight fire with fire. Reminding Middle Americans that your wages suck because most of the wealthy get huge tax breaks, that your bosses want you to be scared perpetually of losing your job, that Trump really did, by his own incompetence and purposeful actions, kill a few 100,000 people by ignoring COVID and spreading his lies along with the virus.

Tell the people in the middle that most Republican politicians do not give a flying fuck about you, your kids, your parents, your life. They only care about money they have and the hope to have more of it in their future. And they care about the power they hold and they don't want to share it with anyone who isn't like them, which means you. You may be white but you ain't rich or powerful. You ain't them.

You are better than the people you voted for, good folk on the other side.

It's time to fight and tell the truth about the overlords, my progressive friends. Past time.

And be nice when you do talk with the other voters. They aren't bad people. They've just been serious hoodwinked and fearmongered.

For over 30 years.

 

#flamespirals, #stujenks, #tucson, #spirals, #nightphotography, #timetofight, #theydonotgiveaflyingfuck.