'Cloud Chamber for the Trees and Sky' by Chris Drury: 2003; North Carolina Museum Of Art, Raleigh, North Carolina.
(Photographs by Stu Jenks, 2011)
Mary is fading again. Just saw her. Her breathing's shallow, her color's poor, a bit jaundice, her speech is slurred, she's weak as a kitten. I just sat with her on her bed, both of us saying nothing. A rarety for Mary and I, to be speechless.
This is time number four of "I think Mary is dying" over the past three years. This does feel different however. Sadly, I'm heading to California in the morning, for business and pleasure (A nocturnal photography conference at Mono Lake and a U2 concert in Oakland), but I may need to cut my trip short if Momma's malaise continues or worsens. Wendy at the house will keep me current on Mary's condition.
But if you are reading this, and it's the first week of June, 2011, please say a prayer for Mary, whatever that prayer may be. I'm not going to tell you how or what to pray for. Just do what you do.
And I feel quite sad. I've prayed for Mary to die a lot over the last few years, but this afternoon, that's not what I want. Nope. I'm selfish today. I love my mom, and I've actually enjoyed her humor and wit these past few months. I'm going to miss her.
I'm not praying for her to live, but I'm not praying for her to die either. That's y'alls job today. (OK, I guess I am telling y'all how to pray. Drat.)
P.S. Above is a photograph inside a camera obscura in my old hometown. The image was taken inside a round, moist stone hut in the middle of a forest near the NCMA in Raleigh. The aperture was in the roof of the hut. I was surrounded that day by moving images of green trees and blue sky. It was beautiful.
And it seem appropriate to post it today, for I'm hoping Mary gets to walk among the green trees and the blue sky very soon as well.
Thanks again, y'all.
Love, Stu.