Stu Jenks' Fezziwig Press: Memoirs

September 13, 2021

A free epub of Dementia Blues for y'all (and a hidden Leviticus track too)

A writer friend today suggested I submit one of my self-pub books to this book contest thingy. Win between $1000 to $5000 if they pick your book. It's a bit of a scam, our $65 submission costs supporting whoever the hell Winning Writers are, but I had that much cash in my Paypal and thought what the hell.

The tricky part was which book. Initially I thought Step Zero, but that's too long. Then I thought Victor Mothershead, but that's Book 4 in the Step Zero series.

Then I thought Dementia Blues, my best selling book of the 15 books I've produced. I glanced through the epub before I submitted it and thought, "This is actually pretty good. It holds up."

So I uploaded it to the contest.

But you know I ain't going to win.

But you all can.

Download Dementia Blues

Above (and at the end of this post) is the epub edition of Dementia Blues by me, Stu Jenks. Designed by Gail Cross with the photographs and everything. It's a sad but sweet book. I think you'll like it.

And even though the chances of me winning this book contest are slim to none, you can win a free book right now. Pretty sweet, eh?

Love you guys.

Keep your lamp trimmed and burning,

Stu.

Download Dementia Blues

P.S. Hidden track: I'll give away my last book Cherry Picking Leviticus too. What the heck. I'm in a generous mood. (If you feel like donating to the cause, my Paypal is [email protected]). Be safe out there.

Download Cherry Picking Leviticus by Stu Jenks

Posted at 09:44 AM in Ancestors, Arizona, Art, Black & White Photography, Books, Civil Rights, Current Affairs, Death, Dementia, eBooks, Hopi, Love, Mary Jenks, Memoirs, Photographs Of My Mother, Stu Jenks, The Moon, Tucson | Permalink | Comments (0)

August 31, 2021

"Dad Doesn't Leave The House Much Anymore"

"Dad Doesn't Leave The House Much Anymore" (c) Spring 2001, 2010 Stu Jenks

(Pinhole photograph taken six months before Dad died. Exposure time approx. 30 minutes long. Stuart Jenks Sr. died at home on September 3rd, 2001, twenty years ago this week. This story was written in 2010 and edited again today.)

    Dad doesn’t leave the house much anymore.
    “He sometimes goes outside but he rarely stays out,” Mom says. “It’s like he’s given up.”
    It’s been a bad few months. They can’t give Dad the Agent Orange Cancer Cure anymore. Too much of The Big Bad Chemo would kill him outright now. He went to John Hopkins in Baltimore recently and they’ve put him on very experimental cancer therapy which consists of Stuart taking Thalidomide pills. Dad’s now a guinea pig.
    “We’re running out of options,” Dr. Evers, my father’s oncologist, said. My Dad calls him Medger, after the slain civil rights activist. It’s not a compliment, and it's kind of a bad joke. Dad sometimes is less funny than he thinks.
    There’s one more last ditch treatment, they say. Another experimental procedure where they pump a caustic chemical cocktail right into my Dad’s chest. Stuart has to be under anesthesia for this and be closely monitored while they pump in the chemicals. Very experimental. Very risky. A last hope. We’re scheduled to go into the hospital in a few days. I just flew in from Tucson tonight to help as I can.
    Dad’s sitting in front of his mini-TV in the living room. He has on headphones to listen to it, for if he doesn’t, the regular TV speaker blasts out the house. Dad has been losing his hearing for years. He refuses to get hearing aids. He likes hearing less, he said to me, because without hearing aids he can barely hear Mom talk. Stuart fell out of love with Mary years ago, but is too cheap to divorce her. Sadly, Mom is still deeply in love with the man.
    Dad's just sitting there, watching the TV. I walk out onto the screened-in porch, then to the kitchen, then upstairs to my bedroom. I’ve done this circle a number of times tonight. I pass Dad each time, but after our first hand wave of the night, Dad doesn’t look up from the TV. He doesn’t look like he’s paying much attention to the television. Almost like he’s looking right through it. A thousand yard stare, probably not that much different than the one on his face at Iwo Jima in 1945.
    Without him knowing, I place my pinhole camera, with the shutter open, on a table in the living room. I then go outside to sit on the river pier in the dark. No moon tonight. A half hour later, I come back up to the house. Dad’s still sitting where I left him. I grab the pinhole, place my hand over the aperture hole and take it upstairs to my bedroom. I close the shutter once I’m upstairs.
    A few minutes later, I walk back downstairs to get a snack. I wave at Stuart again. This time he waves back. Dad goes back to looking at the TV. He’s not smiling. He’s not really anything. Like a quiet ghost in the house. Strange from a man who had such a big personality when he was well. It’s like he’s already gone now. I don’t fault him for this. Hell, if I’d gone through almost two years of brutal surgeries and horrible chemotherapies that barely shrunk my tumors, I’d want to be gone too. But I still miss him. And then sometimes I don’t. It’s complicated. He's a retired Marine Corps officer. I'm a woo woo artist. Yeah. Often I feel like I don’t know him at all or he, me. We’ve both tried, but we still don’t get each other. Never really have. It makes sad and a little angry. Mostly it just make me really really sad. You kind of missed out on getting to know your only son, Dad, by having unreasonable expectations of me being just like you.
    I walk back up stairs to my room, stow the pinhole camera away in its bag, and go to bed for the night. This is going to be a hard week.

[That week, the doctors didn’t even attempt the super-experimental cancer procedure they had planned. They opened up Dad’s chest and found he was full of cancer. It was too late. That was one horrible day. Mom cried. I cried. Dad, to his credit, tried to put on a good face, cracking a few jokes, but he knew.
I privately asked the oncologist just how long Dad had. He resisted telling me any estimate. I told him I’m not going to hold him to it. The doctor relented and said, “Three to six months.” Almost exactly 6 months later, Dad died on Labor Day night, with his wife Mary lying beside him. "It was so peaceful," Mom said at the time. We buried him at St. Mary's Whitechapel Episcopal Church on the next Saturday, two days before the world completely changed on 9/11.]

Dad as a young Marine. Photograph probably taken by his mother, Mama Lillie.

Infrared photograph taken of my father in the Spring of 2001 by me.

Posted at 09:44 AM in Ancestors, Angel/Ghosts, Art, Black & White Photography, Death, Emotions, Family, Film, Grief and Loss, History, Infrared Photography, Love, Memoirs, Nocturnal Photography, Photographs Of My Father, Pinhole Images, Virginia | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 11, 2019

Cherry Picking Leviticus, as a pdf and as an ebook for only $2.00

My new book Cherry Picking Leviticus is available for only $2.00, at the Fezziwig Press store, both as an pdf and as an epub file. You can also buy other Stu stuff there as well.

And below are some recent images from me. Hope you like. Have a wonderful day, and keep the faith baby, however you do that.

Love and light, Stu.

"Nannie's Mirror: Town Creek Indian Mound, Mt. Gilead, North Carolina" (c) 2019 Stu Jenks. [This structure is a re-creation of the religious building that stood here centuries ago, so I wasn't damaging anything by placing my grandmother's mirror within its ropes. Quite a spiritual place to visit, with the creek over there, the temple up there on that mound and the woods all around. Check it out if you are in the area.]

"Deer Skull along the Ararat River, Virginia" (c) 2019 Stu Jenks. [I found this white-tailed deer skull on the other side of the river from where I took these photos, not far from the grave of J.E.B. Stuart's great-great-grandfather who was murdered (not killed in battle but murdered in his home by a Torie), during the Revolutionary War.

This pristine skull sat atop a tall bluff, near a rusty old Model A Ford car door, both I'm guessing washed down stream during hurricane flooding. It was just sitting, on some grass, like it had been placed there. A lovely and welcome surprise.

"House on Rt. 831, Virginia" (c) Stu Jenks 2019

"The grave of the poet Randall Jarrell, a Quaker Cemetery near Guilford College, Greensboro, North Carolina" (c) 2019 Stu Jenks. [Randall Jarrell's poetry inspired me to be a writer when I was in high school. And yes, I place those flowers there. RIP Randall.]

"Confederate Water Skiers, Mt. Airy, North Carolina" (c) 2019 Stu Jenks [A clandestine image capture of a postcard in a consignment store. Was I going to pay $10 for this creepy postcard? No freaking way.]

"Nannie's Mirror at Turn Four, looking down the front straightaway, Martinsville Motor Speedway, Martinsville, Virginia" (c) 2019 Stu Jenks. [Holy ground to you gear heads out there. And when they aren't racing, you can drive right up to the fence. I kid you not.)

"A Fatal Figure on the wall, after 40 years, Art Lab Building, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill" (c) 2019 Stu Jenks [After all these years, it's still there. Then again, I did spray paint this onto a porous brick wall in 1978, but still.]

Posted at 11:31 AM in Ancestors, Art, Black & White Photography, Books, Business, Civil Rights, Clouds, Current Affairs, eBooks, Emotions, Faith, Fezziwig Press, Good Folk, Greensboro, NC, Highways, History, Hope, Humor, Love, Memoirs, My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror, Nannie's Mirror, Native People, Nature, Night Photography, North Carolina, On The Rez, Other Writers, Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair, Performance Art, Photography, Politics, Prayer, Rivers, Rocks, Sculpture, Spirituality, Stu Jenks, The Road, The Sky, The South, Trees, Trouble With The Law, Virginia, Weather, Wildlife | Permalink | Comments (0)

January 02, 2019

Two things I resolve to do in 2019...

Two things I resolve to do in 2019.

Stay sober. Stay alive.

Other things are of course important in my life: gainful employment, producing more income so I can support myself and my family; gradually getting out of the hole of debt; being sweet and loving to my beautiful wife; continue to make art, music and books; being kind and compassionate to my friends and family and even to those I do not like; being of service to my community and to the world; bringing social justice to my country, in my own small ways.

But without breath in my lungs, a heartbeat in my chest, and a head clear of mood-altering chemicals, none of the above is possible.

Stay sober. Stay alive.

It's really that simple sometimes.

"The Rev. Dr. William Barber II of the Poor People's Campaign, during the Watch Night Revival, Dec. 31st, 2018, at Pullen Baptist Church, in Raleigh, North Carolina" (c) 2018, 2019 Stu Jenks and The Poor People's Campaign.

Posted at 11:04 PM in Ancestors, Angel/Ghosts, Arizona, Art, Birds, Black & White Photography, Books, Canyons, Christmas and Winter Solstice, Churches, Civil Rights, Death, Earth Spirals, Emotions, Faith, Fezziwig Press, Fiction, Flora & Fauna, Forgiveness, Fun Facts, Good Folk, History, Love, Memoirs, Metaphysics, Money, Mountains, Nature, Nocturnal Photography, North Carolina, Photography, Politics, Raleigh, Religion, Science, Sepia, Sickness & Health, Snow, Spirituality, Stones, The Moon, The Poor, The Sky, The South, Travel, Trees, University Of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Virginia, Water, Women | Permalink | Comments (0)

December 29, 2013

A free ePub download of The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010) by Stu Jenks.

I was just at a Starbuck's buying an Egg Nog Latte, when a homeless woman came in and asked the clerk, "Do you have anything for just a dollar?"

I'm not struggling like her obviously, but as my father used to say, "It's not what you make but what you spend." And having my own business, Fezziwig Press, costs money and my little company isn't making enough money right now.

So I'm doing an Amanda Fucking Palmer thing. If I don't ask, you don't know to give.

Fezziwig Press and I have been struggling financially for the last year or so. Namely, I'm not quite breaking even, still a few hundred dollars in the red each month, even with my part time counseling gig and all. I'm making some sales with image rights, book sales, music sales, etc, but not like I did five to ten years ago. So I'm putting out the artistic begging bowl. And I'm giving shit away.

The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010) was released in 2011. Cost a boat load to produce but I only sold seven ebook copies. (Thank you to the seven, by the way.) So I'm offering it today, to you all, for free.

If you like The Transpersonal Papers, or the StuBlog, or my work, I ask that you give a little money to my Paypal account. My log-in is my email address, stujenks at gmail dot com, spelled like you normally would type it. Donate to my Paypal, or buy some books, or send money to P.O.Box 161, Tucson, AZ 85702. Whatever you like. No expectations, but if I don't ask, you don't know. And of course, if you don't give, that's perfectly all right too. We're all tight these days, don't I know. Or you just might not like my stuff that much. It's all good, as the kids say. Except for my ever-shrinking savings account.

I hope you enjoy the photographs and the stories in this book. Perhaps someday I'll have enough money to print it as a large coffee table book, like it was originally envisioned. Perhaps not, but you can have it right now for free. Enjoy.

And just download the Adobe Digital Editions free software to see and read The Transpersonal Papers: (1861-2010), if you don't already have it on your computer.

Thanks, y'all, and have a Happy New Year.

Love and light,

Stu

Posted at 03:33 PM in Ancestors, Angel/Ghosts, Art, Astronomy, Beachs, Black & White Photography, Books, Bozos, Callanish, Christmas and Winter Solstice, Colorado, Death, Dementia, Emotions, Family, Fezziwig Press, Fiction, Flame Spirals, Forgiveness, Good Folk, Grief and Loss, History, Holotropic Breathwork, Humor, Infrared Photography, Megaliths, Memoirs, Mountains, National Parks, Native People, Nature, North Carolina, On The Rez, Paintings, Photographs Of My Father, Photography, Pictorialist Photography, Pinhole Images, Railroads, Religion, San Francisco, Sculpture, Shamanic Breathwork, South Dakota, Surfing, The Apache Wars, The Border, The Indian Wars, Tucson, United Kingdom | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 13, 2013

The New StuStore...

The new Stu Jenks/Fezziwig Press store is up and running.

Click on this link and it'll take you to the new store.

Except for SquareUp cropping the covers too much (Not a big deal to me, given the great service they provide for very little money), I'm very happy with the new store. I hope you are too.

Just in time for Christmas, don't you know.

And as always, thanks for your support.

Love, light and luck,

Stu.

Posted at 12:34 PM in 12 Step Fiction, Angel/Ghosts, Books, Cancer, Cds, Fatal Figures, Fezziwig Press, Flame Spirals, Hoop Dancing, Memoirs, Nocturnal Photography, Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 26, 2012

All 8 1/2" x 11" A/P archival pigment prints by Stu Jenks for $25, shipping, handling and taxes included...

Image: "Queen Esther Baptist Church, Lancaster, Virginia" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks (Just down River Road from Victoria's house. Love that luscious red carpet. And for you nocturnals out there, it was handheld. Rare for me.)

In this time of making photos on iPhones and Macbook Pros and only looking on screens, I forget I'm a old-school guy. I make a 8 1/2 x 11 work print on archival paper of EVERY image I make. EVERY one. It's the only way, for me, to accurately check for color shift, density, composition, etc. I really like my iPad screen but it's no way to make a good print.

And I have hundreds, if not thousands, of work prints artist proofs at my studio.

If you see an image of mine on The StuBlog or on my old website or on the Fezziwig Press Store or in any of my books, there's a beautiful small print in a box somewhere, perhaps with your name on it. And since I'm organized, I can find it.

Many of you can't afford my larger prints. I understand. I don't have an extra 50 or 100 lying around either. But I do have an extra $20 for stuff I really like.

So if you see an image of mine on any of my sites or in any of my books and you want it, it's yours for $25, shipping, handling and tax included. (I believe in paying taxes, sales and otherwise.)

Just email me at my facebook page or through the StuBlog or at [email protected], and tell me what print you would like or just pull the jpeg and send that to me.

I was just watching the Tarhells lose today in basketball, working on images at my computer when I thought, 'I bet people don't realize I have boxes of work prints here.'

You all do now.

Love and light,

Stu

p.s. Ignore the catagories belows. The computer went wacky. Another reason why I prefer a print in the hand as opposed to an image in The Cloud.

Posted at 04:58 AM in Astronomy, Atlanta, Birds, Bisbee, Canada, Death, Dementia, Dying, Eastern Religions, Emotions, Film, Flame Spirals, Good Folk, Grand Canyon, History, Illinois, Love, Metaphysics, Meteorites, Money, National Parks, Nature, Nocturnal Photography, Oklahoma, On The Rez, Other Artists, Paintings, Photography, Politics, Railroads, Rainbows, Sand, Science, Sculpture, Sex, Shamanic Breathwork, Sickness & Health, Snow, Space, Sports, Surfing, Swamps, Texas, The West, Tucson, United Kingdom, University Of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Virginia, War, Wyoming | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 08, 2011

Now available, on the Apple IPad: The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010) and Bozo In Love

Been a long time coming for The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010).

Three editors, two proofreaders, two designers, four printers, and hours, days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes, (I know I'm overstating), of writing, traveling, shooting, editing, remembering, hiking, and more writing, shooting, and editing, but I'm not complaining. No, no, no.

And apologies for not having the dough right now, to print The Transpersonal Papers as a coffee-table book as I had originally planned. ($10,000, it would have cost. Maybe someday.) But you now can buy it, for $14.95, as an Ebook on the Apple IPad, and I expect it to be available within a couple days on the Nook and the Kindle as well.

I just looked at it on my new IPad. The photos, text and design look grand.

And as an extra surprise, Bozo In Love is now up on IBooks too, ($9.95), as well as the rest of my catalog: Flame Spirals, Hoop Dancing, and Dementia Blues, on IBooks, Nook and Kindle.

Just in time for Christmas.

And don't worry. All but The Transpersonal Papers can still be bought as a book book through Fezziwig Press. I have plenty. Just go to www.fezziwigpressonline.com, for the hardbounds and paperbacks, but go to ITunes, today, (and Kindle and Nook, soon) for the ebooks.

Heavy sigh from my third story apartment balcony. I look out onto the Tucson city lights in the valley below. Cold, dry air embraces me. I inhale deeply. Exhale.

A very good night in the desert.

Think I'll make a cup of coffee with egg nog and play some Angry Birds on my new IPad.

Time to celebrate.

Posted at 12:10 AM in Ancestors, Astronomy, Birds, Black & White Photography, Buddhism, Buildings, Cactus, Cattle, Civil Rights, Death, Deserts, Eastern Religions, Family, Film, Flame Spirals, Flora & Fauna, Forgiveness, Georgia, Grand Canyon, Immigrants, Infrared Photography, Louisiana, Megaliths, Metaphysics, Mississippi, Money, National Parks, Nevada, Nocturnal Photography, North Carolina, Other Writers, Paintings, Photography, Poetry, Rainbows, Science, Scotland, Sex, Sickness & Health, Stones, Surfing, Tennessee, The American Civil War, The Four Directions, The Indian Wars, The West, Trees, United Kingdom, Utah, Women | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

September 27, 2011

"Dementia Blues" is now on ITunes and IPad.

Dementia Blues is now available on ITunes and IPad (as well as on the Kindle and the Nook.)

Been waiting a long time for this day.

A very good day for those of us at Fezziwig Press.

And expect the entire catalog of Fezziwig Press to be up on all the ebook platforms by Christmas. (As soon as more of Pamela and Mary Jenks' estates are settled, I'm going to my local Apple store and buy myself an IPad. Maybe a Nook too at Barnes & Noble.)

And in 2012, expect more titles at Fezziwig Press by writers other than myself. Books by poets, fiction writers, therapists, and artists are on the horizon. More on that later.

And as always, thanks for your continued support of Fezziwig Press.

Posted at 02:36 PM in Ancestors, Arizona, Art, Books, Current Affairs, Death, Dementia, Family, Fezziwig Press, Memoirs, Other Writers | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 12, 2011

"Flame Spirals: The Second Edition" is now available at the Fezziwig Press online store.

Flame Spirals: The Second Edition is now available at my studio in Downtown Tucson, at Tucson Touch Therapies, and at Fezziwig Press Online.

I'm extremely happy with how well Taylor Publishing printing the book. It's a lithograph book, printed in The United States, hardbound, and reasonably priced (as opposed to the lulu.com First Edition, that was digitally printed and a bit too expensive for many.)

In this, The Second Edition, I've added a couple new flame spiral images, some new Thanks You and a new dedication to "Ghost Dad, Ghost Mom and Ghost Sis."

And I can't say enough about how wonderful Bill Homan at Taylor Publishing in Texas was, as well as Gail Cross, my amazing book designer.

The price is $29.95 plus shipping and handling, or you can pick it up at Tucson Touch Therapies, or catch me at BR-549 Studios.

Finally, expect an ebook version of Flame Spirals soon, on the Kindle, Nook and IPad platforms. We are hoping for Christmas but it may be early 2012.

And thank you all for your continued support.

Love and light, Stu.

Posted at 12:20 AM in Arizona, Art, Black & White Photography, Current Affairs, Fezziwig Press, Flame Spirals, Love, Memoirs, Sex, Spirituality | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)