Stu Jenks' Fezziwig Press

Circles and Spirals: Stu Jenks' Newsletter #5: 5/23/2022

"Coalmine Canyon East, Navajo Rez, Arizona" (c) 2022 Stu Jenks. 

1) First things first. I got COVID, probably on the plane coming back from Arizona. Yeah, shit. Thank God for the anti-viral medication Paxlovid and having been vaxxed four times. Still was a rough 4 days, fever, chills, coughing, really bad sinus headaches, but today I still have a bit of brain fog, some congestion, a little bit of a cough and a mild headache. Really glad I'm not in the hospital. Really glad I'm not dead. 

2) Went to visit Tucson on the 4th of May. Came back on the 12th. It was wonderful, to see old friends and to simply walk the land I know so well. Went to Coalmine Canyon at sunset, a personal spiritual place I've visited for over 35 years. It's changed some with many tourists now, many meaning any. (Back in the day, I would see no one at all.) That day, I ran into a pair of irritated German tourists who didn't know how to behave, and selfishly had to get their shoots right away, ignoring the fact that there was a guy right there, me, who might have given them some history and some warnings about the place (There are wild dogs there from time to time that will tear you up), but I didn't let them ruin the moment too bad (OK. A little). I took my shots and then I just soaked in the space. It's an amazing space. Feel free to visit, just be respectful. Included here are a few of the best shots I took. By the way, the tall massive hoodoo in the distance is called The Ghost. The place is haunted, say both the Hopi and the Navajo and me. Over the years I have felt the spirits and it's no joke. They are mostly friendly ghosts. Mostly. 

3) I miss my home in the desert. A lot. From the baked eggs at The Cup Cafe to the tortillas at Le Estrella Bakery. But mostly I miss the people, my art community and my recovery community and my friends. All the above. Here in Greensboro, I'm getting to know a few people, but I lived in Tucson for over 35 years. You make a lot of friends in that time, if you're not a jerk. I can be a bit much at times but I'm not a jerk. Thanks everyone who showed me such love and kindness during my time in Tucson. Means the world. Hope to be back soon. 

"La Estrella Bakery, South 12th Avenue, Tucson, AZ" (c) 2022 Mural by Ruben Moreno, image capture by Stu Jenks. 

"  "Old MLK Apartments, Downtown Tucson, AZ" (c) 2022 Mural by Ignacio Garcia, image capture by Stu Jenks. 

4) I still have a bad left leg but I was able to walk a bit in Arizona. Walking the flats near the Mustang Mountains south of Tucson was a joy. Hiking up Cathy's Fault, north of town, just hurt like a son of a bitch, but I had to go up it anyway. At the Mustangs, I drew an spiral on an anthill, for me sure, but also for two people I know who are dying of cancer, and for their friends and family. One has died, the other close to passing. It's very sad. Both are way too young. Both are way too sweet. I'm not praying for their souls. No need. In my belief system, everyone is going to Heaven or a Heaven of sorts. But I do pray for their loved ones who are left behind, grieving, sad. May all of you feel held by God, by me and by all who love you. 

"Spiral for Kris and Al, Mustang Mountains, Arizona" (c) 2022 Stu Jenks. 

5) One of the most memorable moments of my trip was when I was sleeping in my car on the Hopi Rez, along the side of the road one night. It's not a big thing. No one will bother you if you nap in your car. Just lock your doors. Anyway, in the middle of the night I got up for a minute and went outside. I gazed to the south and saw the Milky Way. Not unusual to see it if you are out in the boonies, but what made me say 'wow' out loud, was seeing our galaxy stretch all the way from the Southern horizon, almost all the way to the Northern horizon. I had never seen it stretch that far north. The sky seemed both close enough to touch and a billion miles away. Marvelous. The next morning I thought of dropping in on my Hopi friends but it was way too early to do that. I took an image of their village instead. The Youvella and Kinale families and all the others, may your days be blessed. Hug the kids for me. 

"Polacca and Nipple Butte In The Distance, First Mesa, Hopi Rez, Arizona" (c) 2022 Stu Jenks

6) Again, got back from Tucson, safe but not sound. Pretty sure I got COVID on the plane when I sat next to someone who I believe may have been sick. Frankly 2/3 of the plane were unmasked. WTF. Anyway, I'm out and about again. Took a pic of Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair along a little-traveled train track in rural North Carolina. Went up to the Blue Ridge Parkway, to get my fix of looking-far-into-the-distance. It's good to be home in NC. It's a little odd to feel at home in two places, one in Arizona and another in North Carolina, but it's certainly better than not feeling at home at all. A lot of people are homeless too you know, and just as bad, many people don't feel like they have a home even though they have a place to live. Alexa and I am truly blessed. 

"Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair, Beaver Dam Branch, North Carolina" (c) 2022 Stu Jenks. 

7) Alexa got the COVID too, from me don't you know, but she is much better now too. We are both grateful that we didn't get that sick. She says hey.

"Pink Dogwood On Our Street, Greensboro, NC" (c) 2022 Stu Jenks. 

8) So that's it for now. Thank all of you who sent prayers and good wishes on the social medias, texts, IMs and phone calls during our illnesses. Alexa and I are very happy to be on the mend. One last thing: Alexa's dad, Norman Smith, lives just down the street. Over the past week, he has dropped off fresh strawberries from his garden. As the wise man said, that does not suck. Alexa and I do live in a lovely part of the world. I know I may be overusing this word today, but we feel truly blessed. And you too. Have a blessed day. Saying that doesn't mean you are religious. It just means you are grateful. 

Love, light and luck, 

Stu

"The Road East, Coalmine Mesa, Navajo Rez, Arizona" (c) 2022 Stu Jenks. 

 

Dia De Los Muertos at the Jenks family plot in Lancaster County, Virginia.

I live here in Greensboro, North Carolina now, but I'm really from Tucson, Arizona.

Part of the border culture, is the annual Dia de los Muestos celebrations. In Sonora, Mexico and Sonoran Arizona, many families on the nights and days around November 2nd, go to their family cemetery plots and clean the graves. They also bring favorite foods and beverages of the deceased, and fresh marigold flowers to decorate the graves of their loved ones. Many stay throughout the nights, drinking and eating, telling funny stories about the deceased, having a good time with friends and family, both living and dead. It's a big deal. Some towns in Sonora, Mexico will have parades honoring the dead. In Tucson, we have the All Souls' Procession, where many thousands of people march through downtown, dressed as the dead, or with placards acknowledging their dead loved ones. A large steel urn filled of written prayers is taken to a site near the Santa Cruz river, where the urn is set ablaze, sending prayers skyward. It's a big deal. (I've been lucky enough to be one of the All Souls photographers over the decades.)

Having moved back to the South, I realize that I had an opportunity to go full-on Day of the Dead with my ancestors. On the way to the Jenks family plot the other day, I visited my grandparents and my great-grandparents in Richmond, along with visiting the grave of my murdered great aunt Bertie. The story of Aunt Bertie's murder and what happened to her two young children can be found at this link. After visiting my folks and my sister, I placed flowers and candles at my great-great grandparents and my great-great-great grandparents graves in Oak Grove Cemetery in Lexington, Virginia. It was kinda-sorta on the way home.

But the main event was at Mary's, Stuart's, and Pamela's graves at St. Mary's Whitechapel Episcopal Church, in Lancaster County, Virginia, near the shores of the Rappahannock River.

Some background regarding St. Mary's Whitechapel and my mother's religious life:

My mother Mary was a big deal in the Diocese of Virginia, being on the Standing Committee and committing her life to service in the Episcopal Church. The rector at St. Mary's in the late 90's and early 2000's was a delight. Loved Mom. Loved trains. However, the rector after him, was an ex-divorce attorney who became a priest late in life. She was frankly horrible, a control freak, pushing mother out of her roles at St. Mary's. Granted, my mother was a force of nature and was a pain in the neck on more than one occasion, but that priest could have fired my mother with a bit more empathy and grace, given she is working with an elderly woman who is doing all this for free. It broke my mother's heart. The current priest at St. Mary's is a very nice woman who I've only met once. Seems very grounded, sweet, and genuine.

Some background regarding on the St. Mary's Whitechapel Graveyard:

The church and the graveyard have been around since 1669. Yeah. 1669. There have been in the past a lot of rules and regulations regarding what you can leave at the graves. No potted plants. No toys. No plastic flowers. No this, no that. They used to enforce this rigidly, but from what I saw the other night, not so much. Potted plants are there. Small figurines are there. A recent burial from a few months ago still had its wilting flowers and the cardboard photo of the deceased. The current priest I believe is doing the right thing, being more flexible. Then again, when she sees the mess I made she might think differently.

I looked all over for marigolds and only found a few late in the process. Trader Joe's sunflowers did just fine.

The food for each person consisted of these:

For Mom, cottage cheese. She loved her cottage cottage.

For Dad, a can of tuna, a can of collard greens, and a single tuna wrap from Trader Joe's. (I ate the second tuna wrap.) Dad loved his tuna fish.

And Pamela, it's bagels.

Many of you have heard me tell the Pamela Jenks Bagel Story. Of her yelling at the Harris Teeter clerk in the frozen food isle in Raleigh.

"Excuse me sir. Can you tell me where the fucking frozen begals are?!!!" Clerk running toward us. "Madam, please don't use that kind of language." Pamela yelling, "Why the fuck not!!!" Clerk's brain going into vapor lock. Him, slowly walking away. Me, just standing there smiling. Not my first Pamela Jenks rodeo.

Pamela yelled and cussed everywhere she went. She wasn't crazy crazy, but she was Southern crazy.

As far as drink goes, that was problematic. All the beverages would have been alcoholic. Me being in recovery, driving with three liquid rattlesnakes in the back of my truck was not a good idea. I went with cans of Arizona Ice Tea, with what they liked to drink written in sharpie on the side of the cans. "Pamela liked scotch." "Dad liked beer." "Mom liked wine." It worked just fine. (Throughout the night, I actually drank Pamela's iced tea. It was very good.)

I placed the food, drink, flowers and candles at each of my loved ones' graves. Put one single flower on my grave, just to include me in all the fun. The Virgin of Guadalupe candles really brought it all together.

I arrived around 5 p.m. and stayed throughout the night, only leaving around 3 a.m. so I could make it to Lexington to place flowers and candles at the Beeton's and Jenks' graves. I place a towel on the "OK God Let's Do It" bench to keep my butt warm, and I played a little woo-woo music on my phone, specifically Steve Roach and Kevin Brahany's "Western Spaces". Hearing that music made me miss Utah and Arizona terribly, but it was still very nice to hear it softly echo throughout the forest.

It's hard to put in words the powers of those few hours. Sometimes if you say too much about a spiritual experience it lessens it resonance in your life. This is one of those times. I felt like crying but I didn't. Just felt sad, mostly because Mary is gone. I miss Mom.

At one point, I walked down to the road to see if I could see the burning candles. I could see the one on top of Dad's headstone. 'Man,' I thought. 'If you are driving down Lively Road tonight and looked up at just the right time, you will see that candle. Won't that be delightfully spooky.'

It was a very good night. Next year, I will return again to honor the dead.

I hope the priest doesn't feel mad at me about all of this. My guess is she will roll with it. But I did leave a candle burning, many flowers and food lying around. My guess is the deer and other wildlife will make short work of the cottage cheese, the tuna wrap and the bagels. The raccoons will have a tough time though, getting into the tuna fish can and the collard greens can, but those little guys are pretty resourceful. You never know.

Rest in peace, Mom, Dad, and Pamela. You were not always the best family, but you are my family.

There is an old metaphysical saying, that our parents did a shitty job, but they did the best they could with the skills they had, and in that paradox, can be find peace and compassion.

I found peace and compassion the other night, in the dark, at my family's graves.

I'm blessed.

#allsoulsday, #diadelosmuertos, #thejenks, #stujenks.

Images from the time of the Coronavirus

Been a little behind on getting recent images up on my website, with my pending prostate surgery pre-op stuff, my recent employment and money challenges due to the Coronavirus, and I'm missing the living crap out of my wife too, but that's no excuse really. I just haven't made the time to upload until now.

So on this Easter Sunday, here are some images from the past few weeks. And as always, prints and images rights are for sale.

Much love to you all. Stay home, stay safe and be well.

Love, Stu.

"Red-Tailed Hawk & The Full Moon, Oracle, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Abandoned Factory, Hiatt & South Lindell Street, Greensboro, North Carolina" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Green Doors, Lowell, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Abandoned Shell Station, Lowell, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Beware The Ides Of March Spiral, Tohono O'Odham Reservation, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"The Sun & The Moon Pictograph, Cochise Stronghold, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Manzanita Flowers, Cochise Stronghold, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair, Tehachapi Loop. California (New Version)" (c) Stu Jenks 2020.

"Two Billion Year Old Rocks, Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona (New Version)" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"December Lightning, Road to Sonoita, Arizona (New Version)" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"A White Sycamore Tree From Above, Cathy's Fault, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"The Virgin Mary, The Church Of The Immaculate Conception, Nogales, Sonora, Mexico" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"St. Barnabas, Holy Trinity Episcopal Church, Greensboro, North Carolina" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"The Road To Magdelena, Sonora, Mexico (New Version)" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"A Grave Decorated In The Topowa Cemetery, Tohono O'Odham Reservation, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Topowa Crosses, Tohono O'Odham Reservation, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"A Milagro On A Wooden Cross On The Old Sonoita Highway, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

"Norman Smith, Saguaro Ribs, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

This wall piece and other walking-stick-inspired pieces are part of an ongoing series called 'The Extended Family'. Along with these sculptures, I have more traditional walking sticks for sale for $80, made from aspen, saguaro, agave and other natural materials. Just send me a email and I can shoot you some jpegs of what is currently in stock. And I will ship.

"Abandoned Ranch Building, Tohono O'Odham Reservation, Arizona" (c) 2020 Stu Jenks.

 

"Beltane Cactus Flower"

"Beltane Cactus Flower (Prickly Pear), Cathy's Fault, Arizona" (c) 2016 Stu Jenks.

Lay a log on the Beltane bonfire for me.

"Purple Columbine"

"Purple Columbine, California" (c) 2016 Stu Jenks.

"Right Mitten In Snow Fog"

"Right Mitten In Snow Fog, Monument Valley, Arizona/Utah Border" (c) 2016 Stu Jenks.

Fezziwig Press News: The first draft of the final book of the Step Zero series, God Goddess All There Is, was completed last night. Editing, proofing, production to come. We are pushing for a July 2016 release date.

I have some ideas for a new music album. Nothing recorded yet. Just playing and thinking. Mostly playing.

And a piece of mine has been selected in next month's Tohono Chul In Full Bloom show and I'm greatly honored to have been invited to be part of the Tucson Museum of Art's Into The Night show. In Full Bloom opens on February 19th, Into The Night opens on February 26th.

The image above was taken on a rare dawn when the basin of Monument Valley was completed shrouded in fog. Rare for me at least. Probably not rare to the Navajos who live there. And it was that purple that morning.

And as always, all images on this blog are for sale, either as fine art prints or as files for image rights. Just contact me at [email protected] for prices.

That's all for now. Thanks everyone for your continuing support.

Stay warm and give love. Stu.

 

"My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror: Mustang Mountain Flower, Arizona"

"My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror: Mustang Mountain Flower, Arizona" (c) 2015 Stu Jenks.

"My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror: Ash Flat, Arizona"

"My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror: Ash Flat, Arizona, San Carlos Apache Reservation" (c) 2015 Stu Jenks

"My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror: Sonoita Rain Flower

"My Grandmother Nannie's Mirror: Sonoita Rain Flower, Arizona" (c) 2015 Stu Jenks.

"...as they pass over to our side of things."

Image: "Dos Cabezas Thistle, Arizona" (c) 2014 Stu Jenks.

 

The first draft of the Step Zero Christmas book went to three readers. One liked it, except for the overly-long ending, but the two other readers said the exact same thing.

"It's OK," they said, with slight disappointment in their voices.

"Ah, shit," I said and chuckled.

I've now risen to a level of mediocrity.

So I felt sorry for myself for three days and then began a complete restructure and rewrite of the Step Zero Christmas book. A dramatic shift in focus, characters and plot. That's all I'll say. Don't want to spoil anything.

But I can't help but laugh.

Fifteen years ago, I would have argued my case when I hear, "It's OK," badgering my two readers with reasons that the novel was so much more then just OK. But I'm a bit humbly of an artist these days. I'm not particularly talented, don't you know, but I try to make up for that with hard work and an active imagination. I'm not God's gift to anything, but I do have a couple of skills, and I strive to make the best of what I have.

And I can do better than "It's OK."

Wish me luck in the rewrite. I don't know if I'll get this book out to you all by Christmas but I'll do my level best. It's all any of us can do, when you get right down to it, to do our level best.

P.S. The first sentence in the new second chapter is this:

"I’ve only been an angel ghost for 10 years, but it still makes me uneasy when a family member dies and we are all over here, waiting to catch them, as they pass over to our side of things."

Addemdum from May 23rd: Some confusion from my blog readers. I'm talking about the Step-Zero-Christmas-Book-In-Which-I'm-Saying-The-Title-Since-The-Title-Gives-Something-Away. I'm not speaking about Air & Gravity book. That's on track for its July 7th release.