December 21st, 2007: The Night of the Winter Solstice
The Mount Lemmon Road was closed at the base. Too much snow for travel to the top for anyone other than residents of Summerhaven. I wasn’t happy about that but I wasn’t that mad either. OK, a little angry maybe, for I do prefer to pray at Solstice Rock on this day and I knew I could make up there in my four-by-four truck, but it’s really only important to me that I pray on Solstice Rock.
God doesn’t care where I am when I do my Big Prayer. Actually, my God doesn’t care if I pray at all. He’s that loving of a guy. So I trusted my gut and headed to Tumamoc instead. It’s around 7 p.m. now. It’s dark up here at the summit but bright as Christmas below. The view from Tumamoc Hill to the East is of the whole Tucson Valley. Tumamoc is literally in the center of the city, a protected nature preserve, two miles east of downtown.
Lights are on in the nearby skyscrapers. I’m guessing that immigrant cleaning crews are emptying the trash on this Friday before Christmas. Semis with red and yellow running lights roar along the Interstate below me. The street grids can easily be seen— Broadway and 22nd Street, even the diagonal Aviation Parkway. Thousands of sepia brown streetlights twinkle below, like an old photograph of a Christmas tree.
The Big Prayer is for Open-Heartedness this year. Unlike other years, I started with myself. I usually end with asking God to hear my personal prayer, but I am pretty annoyed with not being able to get up to Solstice Rock. This then brings up anger and disappointment regarding some friends then some frustration with my family at Christmas Time, and before I know it, I’m not walking up Tumamoc anymore. I’m living in the blind illusion of my own expectations, judgments and thoughts. I become aware of my own insanity about halfway up Tumamoc and say loudly, “God, help me be Open-Hearted to them!” I smile. By the time I reach the summit I have prayed for Open-Heartedness for everyone that I can think of. For Cathy, for many other good friends, for my mother and sister, for some strangers who live just over there, and for the Universe itself.
An Open-Hearted Universe. I’d like that.
I don’t want to leave. It’s so beautiful up here tonight. I take a deep breath and smile. Just a bit longer. The wind picks up, chilling me through my polar fleece. I pull down my Boo Boo hat to warm my ears. I breathe in deeply again. The smell of creosote and mesquite is in the wind, a scent created by yesterday’s rain. The Catalina Mountains loom to the north, capped with new snow. I feel very blessed. Very rich, with little cash in my pocket. Very loved, with no loved ones close by. Very fulfilled, with no personal accomplishments near me.
Time to go. Cathy and I are going to do a bit of Christmas tonight, since I’ll be in Virginia for the holidays. Hope she likes the photograph of Laxmii I made for her. I stand, blow Tucson a big kiss, and head down the hill to my truck.
From my book Flame Spirals: Journeys Through Nocturnal Photography.
#flamespirals, #stujenks, #tucson, #spirals, #nightphotography
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