"I'm Not Suicidal..." (c) 2008

"I’m Not Suicidal..." © 2008 Stu Jenks

[Image: "Owl's Head From The Air" © 2008 Stu Jenks]

[I’ve gotten some interesting phone calls and e-mails over the last two days. So here are some clarifications to the “Argument Against Photography” post on the StuBlog from a couple days ago]

Stu’s Fun Facts:

1)    I'm not suicidal. I'm not ever that depressed. I'm just angry and sad. And grieving. Grieving the loss of a dream, a thought that I might actually be able make a bit of a career out of being an Fine Art Photographer. That without having MFA and a good teaching gig, I might be able to at least break even and not go into a shit load of debt making Fine Art Photography. I was wrong. I’m OK.

2)    All I did was fire myself from my own one-man art business. That's it.

3)    The photo at the top of the ‘Argument’ post was of an abandoned store in the ghost town of Bard, New Mexico. It isn't a photo of my studio after I'd gone bat-shit and trashed all my images. The kids are fine. I didn’t hurt them.

4)    When I spoke of the Art Fucks out there, I wasn't talking about the current gallery folk, who carry my work and my cards in Arizona (You know who you are.) You all are the good guys. I wasn't talking about those wonderful Art people on Congress Street or those great women in the Foothills who show my work (You know who you are.) I wasn't talking about my past art rep (You know who you are.) I wasn’t talking about the good corporate people who have bought the rights to my images and bought the artistic services for a fair price (You know who you are.) I wasn't talking about any of the very good people, rich, poor and in-between, who have bought images of mine throughout the years or any of the book publishers who have bought the use of my images for their publications for a fair price (You know who you are.) I wasn’t talking about the fire performers, visual artists, musicians and writers who have worked with me and who have traded for services, so to speak, creating a wonderful circle of generosity and love. (You know who you are.) None of you all are the Shameless Exploiters. The Art Fucks. You all were, and are, the Good Folk. The very Good Folk.

5)    I will still take pictures, just not with the same gusto or with the same commitment. I'll still have a camera in my truck, be it my Brownie or my Canon. I still will be working on my little Photo Books and posting them on my blog as I finish. I just quitting the Art Business. I’m not quitting making the Art. Can’t do that. (But to be honest, I’m tired and I need a break. Maybe a long break. Who knows. All we have is today, you know.)

6)    I will be still blogging. The Ones and Zeros are just too much fun and I like to write.

7)    I'll still be in some shows I suppose, but I just won't be spending a lot of money on framing work upfront, nor in persuing representation, nor in showing my work to new galleries and such. And I won’t be seeking admission to any juried shows at museums for a good long while.

8)    It's really about the Coin why I've fired myself. Oh, and yes, it is about some of the jerks out there. But mostly, it’s about the Coin. The Big Debt.

9)    And to the men and women I've done Fair Business with in the past, I'd be happy to do more honest ethical business with you. But the air has gone out of much of my balloon. And my ambition ain’t what it used to be. But I do and have appreciated working with you all. (God, I wish there were more of you out there.)

10)    I'm just getting out of the Game. I’ll still be shooting hoops in the backyard. I'm just not going to be at the playground, looking for pick up games.

11)    I'm really OK. Sad, angry, grieving, but OK.

12)    And I treasure my friendships and loves with all you Good Folk, here in Tucson, and in Atlanta, New York, Wisconsin, Arizona, California, North Carolina, London, The UK, New Mexico, Utah, and all those other places I can’t remember. I’m not leaving you all and I don’t think most of you all are leaving me. I’m just leaving the Game, while I still have some.
 

Comments

[Jamie]

Fans fear the loss of
Ineradicable Art
You'll compose and share

[Lama]

Man you better buy that lens suka!!!
POW POW POW just like that the PO PO don't know..
I wreckless
I knock out my teef
and make myself a necklace
pull down those panties & get me sum breakfast
I'm a bigger ogre then Skrek is
POW
POW
POW the PO PO don't know

[dougkat]

Oddly enough, I took some encouragement and consolation from this. I don't know how to evaluate artistic merit, but I know that you are a technically superior photographer to me. I had given up the idea of making a living from my photos, and now I feel better about that choice.

[James Graham]

I never once considered it possible to make a living off of print sales. Never. After leaving Tucson for L.A. I see it is possible, but not in Tucson, at all.
I am as sad as you, Stu, about the cancer that is digital photography, but having failed to sell out I take solace in making art with my camera.
No one will ever take your pictures. So keep making them.
Please,