The Fezziwig News by Stu Jenks

All 8 1/2" x 11" A/P archival pigment prints by Stu Jenks for $25, shipping, handling and taxes included...

Image: "Queen Esther Baptist Church, Lancaster, Virginia" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks (Just down River Road from Victoria's house. Love that luscious red carpet. And for you nocturnals out there, it was handheld. Rare for me.)

In this time of making photos on iPhones and Macbook Pros and only looking on screens, I forget I'm a old-school guy. I make a 8 1/2 x 11 work print on archival paper of EVERY image I make. EVERY one. It's the only way, for me, to accurately check for color shift, density, composition, etc. I really like my iPad screen but it's no way to make a good print.

And I have hundreds, if not thousands, of work prints artist proofs at my studio.

If you see an image of mine on The StuBlog or on my old website or on the Fezziwig Press Store or in any of my books, there's a beautiful small print in a box somewhere, perhaps with your name on it. And since I'm organized, I can find it.

Many of you can't afford my larger prints. I understand. I don't have an extra 50 or 100 lying around either. But I do have an extra $20 for stuff I really like.

So if you see an image of mine on any of my sites or in any of my books and you want it, it's yours for $25, shipping, handling and tax included. (I believe in paying taxes, sales and otherwise.)

Just email me at my facebook page or through the StuBlog or at stujenks@gmail.com, and tell me what print you would like or just pull the jpeg and send that to me.

I was just watching the Tarhells lose today in basketball, working on images at my computer when I thought, 'I bet people don't realize I have boxes of work prints here.'

You all do now.

Love and light,

Stu

p.s. Ignore the catagories belows. The computer went wacky. Another reason why I prefer a print in the hand as opposed to an image in The Cloud.

...The first draft of the novel is done!!!...

The first draft of the novel is done!!! It came in at 149,000 words, 552 pages in my document. Yeaaaa! I can't tell you how good it feels. The ending made me cry, as I hope it does you. (Last word in the novel, which won't change in revision: Sighs.) I want to jump right back to the beginning and start revisions, but Mary Ann suggests I take more than just a couple days off. OK. I'll take off three or four days. LOL. But then it's fixing this and revising that, then off to the editors. And I have ideas for the next novel in this series, too. I have some pretty great characters, I think, and I want to see what they will do next. But first things first. Get this novel to print.

One serious note: It took about a year to write this novel, but it almost didn't get done. With Mary and Pamela dying and all, I didn't work on it for about six weeks and it was so hard to get my momentum back. But I did. But it was difficult. If you are working on a novel or a large work, I recommend you plow through, even if the field is frozen. I've been told I'm very lucky to have gotten back on track.

Speaking of track, good luck to Danica Patrick tomorrow in the Daytona 500 and in the rest of Sprint Cup and Nationwide races this season. I might just have to go up to PHX next Saturday to watch her race.

By the way, did I mention I finished the freaking first draft of the novel?

Yeaaaaaaaaa!

Now available, on the Apple IPad: The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010) and Bozo In Love

Been a long time coming for The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010).

Three editors, two proofreaders, two designers, four printers, and hours, days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes, (I know I'm overstating), of writing, traveling, shooting, editing, remembering, hiking, and more writing, shooting, and editing, but I'm not complaining. No, no, no.

And apologies for not having the dough right now, to print The Transpersonal Papers as a coffee-table book as I had originally planned. ($10,000, it would have cost. Maybe someday.) But you now can buy it, for $14.95, as an Ebook on the Apple IPad, and I expect it to be available within a couple days on the Nook and the Kindle as well.

I just looked at it on my new IPad. The photos, text and design look grand.

And as an extra surprise, Bozo In Love is now up on IBooks too, ($9.95), as well as the rest of my catalog: Flame Spirals, Hoop Dancing, and Dementia Blues, on IBooks, Nook and Kindle.

Just in time for Christmas.

And don't worry. All but The Transpersonal Papers can still be bought as a book book through Fezziwig Press. I have plenty. Just go to www.fezziwigpressonline.com, for the hardbounds and paperbacks, but go to ITunes, today, (and Kindle and Nook, soon) for the ebooks.

Heavy sigh from my third story apartment balcony. I look out onto the Tucson city lights in the valley below. Cold, dry air embraces me. I inhale deeply. Exhale.

A very good night in the desert.

Think I'll make a cup of coffee with egg nog and play some Angry Birds on my new IPad.

Time to celebrate.

 

The Funerals for Mary Saum Jenks (and a film for Pamela Jenks)

The Funerals For Mary Saum Jenks (and a film for Pamela Jenks)

Images: "Broken Lock, Bynam, North Carolina", "Maundy Thursday Hoop Dance, Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Tucson, Arizona" & "Mary Jenks' Last Five Days, Tucson, Arizona" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

The dates have been set. Mary Jenk's' first funeral will be on Saturday, July 30th, 2011 at 2 p.m. at Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church at 2331 E. Adams, Tucson, Arizona. (The church is one block south of The Arizona Inn.) The service has been designed to not only bid farewell to my mother Mary, but also to allow all who attend to have the opportunity to grieve whatever losses they may have. I've personally chosen the music, hymns, creeds, and prayers, to not only reflect my mother's religious beliefs but my own spiritual values as well. Please come. A reception will be held afterwards in the Parish Hall adjacent to the church.

Also, on Saturday, September 17th, 2011 at 2 p.m. at St. Mary's Whitechapel on 5490 Whitechapel Road near Lancaster, Virginia, a second service will be performed for Mary Jenks. This will be a more traditional service. Also, at this service, both my mother Mary's and my sister Pamela's ashes will be buried at the Jenks family plot behind the Chapel. Those in the Virginia/North Carolina area may wish to attend this service.

Hope to see y'all at either of these two services.

At the botton of this post is the last image I took of Mary alive. It is an unpleasant image but I worked hard to make it less harsh. Mom never minded having pictures taken of her by me, in her final years of life. (see 'Dementia Blues'). She rather liked all the attention and she did love her son. I'll write more about Mary's death, but not now. Let's just say I was there when Mary died. It was very sad. I told her I loved her as she took her last breath. Truly, much like with my sister Pamela, Death was a blessing. Neither women now suffer.

And today, the last Harry Potter film came out. My sister Pamela was a huge fan of Rowlings' books and she was trying to stay alive long enough to see the film. She did not make it. I am profoundly sad about this, for she would have been at an early showing today. Tomorrow I will attend Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallow, Part Two in her honor. Perhaps, just perhaps, her spirit will take a seat next to mine.

"Holding Mary's Hand"

"Holding Mary's Hand, Crossroads Adult Care Home, Tucson, Arizona" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

"Mono Lake Hoop Dances" (and some news of Mary Jenks)

"Mono Lake Hoop Dance, California" (c) Stu Jenks & Shawn Peterson 2011

The top image is mine, the second image, Shawn Peterson's. We both shot the same hoop dance at the same time: my image a bit longer exposure using my Rollei, Shawn shooting with his Canon 5D Mark II. I can't tell you how joyous that shoot was, that night, just three weeks ago. Shawn and I and the others on the pumice field near Mono Lake, laughed and shoot and had just the best time. And each image of these two images has its own magic: mine, a bit warmer and with more contrast, Shawn's, cooler in color with more shadow detail. An excellent example of how we each may look at the same time but we all see things through our own eyes.

And a lot has happened in the last three weeks. Pamela died of metastatic breast cancer two weeks ago and it appears Mary is finally succuming to her dementia. She hasn't eaten in two days, can now longer swallow and drifts in and out of consciousness. I'm gettin ready to go over to Crossroads in a hour or so. We may have to up the morphine a bit for Mary is now in some pain. Once every 4 hours may not be enough to keep her confortable. The little water sponges on sticks really helps with keeping her mouth moist though.

And there will be two funerals for Mary Jenks, one here in Tucsson at Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church and one at St. Mary's Whitechapel in Lively, Virginia. The service here is for all who knew Mary, of course, but mostly, it's for those of you who want to come to give me a hug. And I've prepared quite a little service for Mary, with some live harmonium music by me, a few touching songs that I love, and a good number of hymms Mary loves as well. (The service at St. Mary's Whitechapel will be more traditional Episcopalian. And both Pamela and Mary will be buried at the same time, or so it seems.)

Mary could rallies like she has done a half dozen times over the last two years, but I don't think so. This looks, feels and smells different. Mary appears to be doing the hard work of dying now.

And feel free and continue to send your love, via my Facebook page. I've told Mary that a lot of my friends are praying for her. Understandably, it doesn't seem to mean much to her now, but it means a lot to me. Thanks for all the love and compassion that you are giving to my family and I.

I truly do feel it.

Love, light & luck,

Stu

p.s. I found out that Mary fell from her wheelchair and broke her hip, two hours after Pamela had died. She didn't know Pamela was dead at that point, or did she? I can feel Pamela's spirit around some and she seems to be with our mother when I enter Mary's bedroom now. All the old angers have fallen away from Pamela. Pamela simply glows now. It's nice. She seems to be holding Mary's hand as much as I. Call me crazy if you like, but Pamela is around. Happy to have her on the job. And all of you as well.

Shri Ram, Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram: (Pamela On The Plane)

 
"Shri Ram, Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram: Pamela On The Plane" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

(Photographs of Krishna Das by Cindy Elliot: Toning of the KD images by Stu Jenks. Portrait of Pamela Jenks, a month before her death, and a photo of her casket in the kitchen in Raleigh by Stu Jenks.)

An MP3 of Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram by Krishna Das (Be a good guy and buy it on ITunes if you like it)

    Maybe it’s wishful thinking. Maybe it’s sleep deprivation, but I swear I feel Pamela’s presence here on this train platform at the Philadelphia Airport. No, she’s here, all right. It’s not just me.
    “What to share a smoke?” I ask Pamela.
    She just smiles.
    “Did I do right by you, Pamela?” I whisper to the empty space to my right. “I’m really not sure,” I say. “Those three friends of yours. Jesus fucking Christ. Those three women who picked over your bones like vultures after your funeral really pissed me off. What is wrong with those people, going through your DVDs, your books, your china, your clothes at the house? What is wrong with them? But I did end up giving Katalina your silver, after talking with Martha. Martha seems solid. She knew who you were, Pamela, good and bad. Martha said Katalina was OK, that you really did want her to have that silver. So I gave her the silver. Anyway. I hope I did right by you.”
    The angel/ghost of Pamela continues to smile to me. It’s the first time I’ve felt her around since just after she died on Tuesday.
    “You did great, Stu,” she says. “And you were right. I am free now.”

    On the plane from Philly to Phoenix. Working of some pics of Krishna Das that Elliot took at The Rialto ten days ago. (Sweet of her to share those with me. They don’t allow me to take pics at The Rialto. The Rialto. Krishna Das. Was it just a week and a half ago? Christ, it feels like a month or more.)  I put on some of Krishna Das’ music on the laptop while I work. I recognize a song from the concert.
    “Shri Ram Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram,” sings Krishna Das into my earpieces. The crowd on the live recording sings the phrase back to him, in that wonderful Kirtan call-and-response way.
    And I start to cry.
    There is an empty seat next to me.
    Pamela’s ashes rest on the kitchen counter in Raleigh, but I feel her spirit in that seat right next to me, right here, right now.
    I want to sing Jai Jai Ram with KD and the crowd on the recording, but I can’t here. I’m on a dark plane with a hundred other souls. But I can sway.
    And Pamela sways too.
    I can almost see her angel/ghost. She’s not the bloated ugly woman of the last twenty years. She’s not the angry, hurtful, unhappy woman I’ve known for so long. She’s light, bright, beautiful, blond, thin, and joyous.
    “I’m so happy,” she whispers in my ear.
    I say nothing. Just slowly cry.
    “I don’t suffer now, Stu,” she says “And you shouldn’t either.”
    And then Pamela Jenks, The Friendly Ghost, raises her arms above her head and sways with Krishna Das. I cry a little more. Not out of sadness but out of wordless, soundless joy for my sister who suffered so much these past decades and now suffers no more.
    She is free.
    I look at her angel/ghost out of the corner of my eye. Slender arms above her head, eyes closed, loving the music.
    And I think of the hug we shared hours before her death. The first time she ever hugged me, in which she didn’t break the hug first. A long, deep hug of love from my sister who was so scared of dying, but who longed so much for death to come, to release her from her pain.
    A sister who finally found freedom from her life of sorrow.
    And it appears, if I’m not completely out of my mind, a sister who is digging the fuck out of Krishna Das.
    I chuckled.
    Who would have thought it? My Anglican sister digging Hindu Kirtan music. Then again, she’s an angel/ghost now. She can love anything she wants.
    “Oh, Stu,” she says, leaning over.
    “Yes,” I whisper.
    “I love you, Bro.”
    “Love you too, Pam.”
    And she throws her head back and blisses out with the music.
    And I join her in her bliss.

 

 

"Mary's Mysteries"

"Mary's Mysteries" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

    After more than six months with a vacant apartment next to mine, a new neighbor has moved in. I’ve had quiet neighbors and awful neighbors over the last nine years. Only time will tell. Worst case, I can always move, but I would so hate to leave my little apartment in the sky.
    Then again, I could be Mary.
    Last Friday afternoon, she was curled up in her bed, neither fully asleep nor all awake. I raised the head of her bed so she could watch the end of the Arizona/Memphis game, but she showed little interest, even when I was jumping up and down after Arizona won.
    I talked. She listened. She didn’t say much. She offered me the imaginary lint from her fingers like she often does and I took it. I told her more of my time at last weekend’s Festival Of Books, but I never got a smile out of her. I can always get a smile out of Mom. Not that day. Perhaps she’ll grin when I visit her later today after the Arizona/Texas game.
    The staff has begun facing the changes in Mary over the last month. Wendy doesn’t want to see Mary die, for she loves her so much, but even Wendy is coming to terms with this new decline.
    She’s not eating very much. She’s not talking as much. She’s losing weight. She has a new pain in her chest. And she has no interest in sports.
    I still enjoy talking with Mom, touching her, joking with her, but I’m thinking the end may be only a few months away. Maybe weeks. I know I said that before, a year ago, and two years ago too, when Mom didn’t get out of bed for days on end. Maybe Mary will rally like she has done before, but I don’t know.
    Some mysteries I like: What’s up beyond that next curve in the road? What new people will I meet this week? What kind of conversation will The God Inside and The God Outside have today? How can I be of help?
    Other mysteries, not so much: Will my new neighbor be a good guy? Is that his dishwasher or his stereo I hear right now? When will my mother die?
  

"The Life of Christ" by Keith Haring

"The Life of Christ" by Keith Haring (detail); AIDS Interfaith Chapel, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, California" (c) 1981 Keith Haring, 2010 Stu Jenks.

[From Grace Cathedral's website]

        The AIDS Interfaith Chapel, completed in 2000, memorializes AIDS victims and honors AIDS caregivers. Grace Cathedral has been at the forefront of AIDS awareness and response since the appearance of the disease in 1981. The triptych altarpiece, entitled The Life of Christ is by New York street and public artist Keith Haring (1958-1990). His last work, it was completed shortly before his death from AIDS. It is one of several castings of the piece in the United States, another being at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, New York...
        ...This panorama was made possible with a generous donation from Bob Beukema and Ken Mosesian.