I was just at a Starbuck's buying an Egg Nog Latte, when a homeless woman came in and asked the clerk, "Do you have anything for just a dollar?"
I'm not struggling like her obviously, but as my father used to say, "It's not what you make but what you spend." And having my own business, Fezziwig Press, costs money and my little company isn't making enough money right now.
So I'm doing an Amanda Fucking Palmer thing. If I don't ask, you don't know to give.
Fezziwig Press and I have been struggling financially for the last year or so. Namely, I'm not quite breaking even, still a few hundred dollars in the red each month, even with my part time counseling gig and all. I'm making some sales with image rights, book sales, music sales, etc, but not like I did five to ten years ago. So I'm putting out the artistic begging bowl. And I'm giving shit away.
The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010) was released in 2011. Cost a boat load to produce but I only sold seven ebook copies. (Thank you to the seven, by the way.) So I'm offering it today, to you all, for free.
If you like The Transpersonal Papers, or the StuBlog, or my work, I ask that you give a little money to my Paypal account. My log-in is my email address, stujenks at gmail dot com, spelled like you normally would type it. Donate to my Paypal, or buy some books, or send money to P.O.Box 161, Tucson, AZ 85702. Whatever you like. No expectations, but if I don't ask, you don't know. And of course, if you don't give, that's perfectly all right too. We're all tight these days, don't I know. Or you just might not like my stuff that much. It's all good, as the kids say. Except for my ever-shrinking savings account.
I hope you enjoy the photographs and the stories in this book. Perhaps someday I'll have enough money to print it as a large coffee table book, like it was originally envisioned. Perhaps not, but you can have it right now for free. Enjoy.
Pamela's Baby Rocking Chair (The Deaths of Pamela and Mary Jenks), the book, is now for sale.
Here's how you can purchase it.
1) Within a few days, the PBRC book, will be at Tucson Touch Therapies here in Tucson, at the northeast corner of Alvernon and Pima.
2) Or make an appointment by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org and you can purchase one at my studio, here in Tucson, at 549 N. 7th Ave. $24.95 plus sales tax. $26.97 total.
3) Or I can Priority Mail you a copy. I take checks. I take Paypal (log into my Paypal account using my email address.) I take Square. I take cash. I take tamales. Really. A dozen tamales gets you a book. Just email me at email@example.com or log into my Paypal or Facebook me with your address, method of payment, etc. $24.95 plus sales tax if you are local. No sales taxes outside of Tucson and Arizona. And I ship everything Priority Mail so add $6.95 to your order. One to three books will be just $6.95 shipping. Four or more, it'll be more. Total, in Tucson: 33.92 Priority. Total, outside of Tucson: $31.90 Priority.
4) Or find me on the street. I'll have a box of books in the truck of Mary's Buick for a few weeks at least.
The books look great. They smell good too like new books do.
And for those of you who have pre-ordered the PBRC book, I'm heading to the post office in about an hour. Look for them in your mailbox in the next day or three.
Image: "Queen Esther Baptist Church, Lancaster, Virginia" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks (Just down River Road from Victoria's house. Love that luscious red carpet. And for you nocturnals out there, it was handheld. Rare for me.)
In this time of making photos on iPhones and Macbook Pros and only looking on screens, I forget I'm a old-school guy. I make a 8 1/2 x 11 work print on archival paper of EVERY image I make. EVERY one. It's the only way, for me, to accurately check for color shift, density, composition, etc. I really like my iPad screen but it's no way to make a good print.
And I have hundreds, if not thousands, of work prints artist proofs at my studio.
If you see an image of mine on The StuBlog or on my old website or on the Fezziwig Press Store or in any of my books, there's a beautiful small print in a box somewhere, perhaps with your name on it. And since I'm organized, I can find it.
Many of you can't afford my larger prints. I understand. I don't have an extra 50 or 100 lying around either. But I do have an extra $20 for stuff I really like.
So if you see an image of mine on any of my sites or in any of my books and you want it, it's yours for $25, shipping, handling and tax included. (I believe in paying taxes, sales and otherwise.)
Just email me at my facebook page or through the StuBlog or at firstname.lastname@example.org, and tell me what print you would like or just pull the jpeg and send that to me.
I was just watching the Tarhells lose today in basketball, working on images at my computer when I thought, 'I bet people don't realize I have boxes of work prints here.'
You all do now.
Love and light,
p.s. Ignore the catagories belows. The computer went wacky. Another reason why I prefer a print in the hand as opposed to an image in The Cloud.
During this journey of selling The Old Home Place, I've dealt with some of this nicest people as well as some of the most despicable. Truly evil fucks I tell you. But the young man who will be living in the Amherst House will share it with his two year old daughter and will put my ancestral home back in tip top shape. Frank (not his real name) is one of the nicest people I've met in this journey. However, his father, a very very bad man, who bought Frank this house and his father's realtor, a true witch of a woman, made my last two days before closing a clusterfuck of greed, lies and selfishness. Happily, the sins of the father did not fall onto the son. And the female agent has a special room in Hell reserved just for her.
But if one thing the recent greedy behaviors of others has taught me, once again, is all that really matters is giving love, kindness and compassion to our friends, our families, our lovers, our co-workers and yes, even to our evil fucks who cross our paths from time to time.
Money is fleeting but love is eternal.
So on the road I go in the morning. To parts west, where I'll break bread with old friends and perhaps share a cup of Joe with new ones.
And finally, returning to my desert home, where the Sun turns the sky orange at dawn and Mourning Doves announce the beginning of the day.
'Cloud Chamber for the Trees and Sky' by Chris Drury: 2003; North Carolina Museum Of Art, Raleigh, North Carolina.
(Photographs by Stu Jenks, 2011)
Mary is fading again. Just saw her. Her breathing's shallow, her color's poor, a bit jaundice, her speech is slurred, she's weak as a kitten. I just sat with her on her bed, both of us saying nothing. A rarety for Mary and I, to be speechless.
This is time number four of "I think Mary is dying" over the past three years. This does feel different however. Sadly, I'm heading to California in the morning, for business and pleasure (A nocturnal photography conference at Mono Lake and a U2 concert in Oakland), but I may need to cut my trip short if Momma's malaise continues or worsens. Wendy at the house will keep me current on Mary's condition.
But if you are reading this, and it's the first week of June, 2011, please say a prayer for Mary, whatever that prayer may be. I'm not going to tell you how or what to pray for. Just do what you do.
And I feel quite sad. I've prayed for Mary to die a lot over the last few years, but this afternoon, that's not what I want. Nope. I'm selfish today. I love my mom, and I've actually enjoyed her humor and wit these past few months. I'm going to miss her.
I'm not praying for her to live, but I'm not praying for her to die either. That's y'alls job today. (OK, I guess I am telling y'all how to pray. Drat.)
P.S. Above is a photograph inside a camera obscura in my old hometown. The image was taken inside a round, moist stone hut in the middle of a forest near the NCMA in Raleigh. The aperture was in the roof of the hut. I was surrounded that day by moving images of green trees and blue sky. It was beautiful.
And it seem appropriate to post it today, for I'm hoping Mary gets to walk among the green trees and the blue sky very soon as well.