The Fezziwig News by Stu Jenks

All 8 1/2" x 11" A/P archival pigment prints by Stu Jenks for $25, shipping, handling and taxes included...

Image: "Queen Esther Baptist Church, Lancaster, Virginia" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks (Just down River Road from Victoria's house. Love that luscious red carpet. And for you nocturnals out there, it was handheld. Rare for me.)

In this time of making photos on iPhones and Macbook Pros and only looking on screens, I forget I'm a old-school guy. I make a 8 1/2 x 11 work print on archival paper of EVERY image I make. EVERY one. It's the only way, for me, to accurately check for color shift, density, composition, etc. I really like my iPad screen but it's no way to make a good print.

And I have hundreds, if not thousands, of work prints artist proofs at my studio.

If you see an image of mine on The StuBlog or on my old website or on the Fezziwig Press Store or in any of my books, there's a beautiful small print in a box somewhere, perhaps with your name on it. And since I'm organized, I can find it.

Many of you can't afford my larger prints. I understand. I don't have an extra 50 or 100 lying around either. But I do have an extra $20 for stuff I really like.

So if you see an image of mine on any of my sites or in any of my books and you want it, it's yours for $25, shipping, handling and tax included. (I believe in paying taxes, sales and otherwise.)

Just email me at my facebook page or through the StuBlog or at stujenks@gmail.com, and tell me what print you would like or just pull the jpeg and send that to me.

I was just watching the Tarhells lose today in basketball, working on images at my computer when I thought, 'I bet people don't realize I have boxes of work prints here.'

You all do now.

Love and light,

Stu

p.s. Ignore the catagories belows. The computer went wacky. Another reason why I prefer a print in the hand as opposed to an image in The Cloud.

...The first draft of the novel is done!!!...

The first draft of the novel is done!!! It came in at 149,000 words, 552 pages in my document. Yeaaaa! I can't tell you how good it feels. The ending made me cry, as I hope it does you. (Last word in the novel, which won't change in revision: Sighs.) I want to jump right back to the beginning and start revisions, but Mary Ann suggests I take more than just a couple days off. OK. I'll take off three or four days. LOL. But then it's fixing this and revising that, then off to the editors. And I have ideas for the next novel in this series, too. I have some pretty great characters, I think, and I want to see what they will do next. But first things first. Get this novel to print.

One serious note: It took about a year to write this novel, but it almost didn't get done. With Mary and Pamela dying and all, I didn't work on it for about six weeks and it was so hard to get my momentum back. But I did. But it was difficult. If you are working on a novel or a large work, I recommend you plow through, even if the field is frozen. I've been told I'm very lucky to have gotten back on track.

Speaking of track, good luck to Danica Patrick tomorrow in the Daytona 500 and in the rest of Sprint Cup and Nationwide races this season. I might just have to go up to PHX next Saturday to watch her race.

By the way, did I mention I finished the freaking first draft of the novel?

Yeaaaaaaaaa!

"St. Augustine's Pigeons"

"St. Auguestine's Pigeons, Tucson, Arizona" (c) 2012 Stu Jenks

...getting back on the Sunset Limited...

300 plus pages into the first draft of the novel. My main characters have just gotten off the train in Yuma. They'll be spending the night in Yuma, getting back on the Sunset Limited in the morning. God willing and the writer doesn't change his outline, they should be home in Tucson, tomorrow.

I'm guessing there's only about 70 to 100 pages untl I get to write the big climax of the novel. (I have a nice, hopefully-very-satisfying ending planned.) Then re-write and editors but that's then, not now. Now, I just want to share some more Graphic Pen images (and some straight photographic ones) that will be chapter heading images for the book. And just if you are wondering, Graphic Pen images are easier and cheaper to print lithographically and a little easier to design and upload for the IPad, Kindle and Nook. Anyway, have a happy Twenty Twelve, y'all, and don't forget to enjoy the mystery of it all.

"Chapel Of The Nativity"

"Chapel Of The Nativity, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, California" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

Merry Christmas, everyone. I'll be back in the studio on the 27th. See you then.

 

Now available, on the Apple IPad: The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010) and Bozo In Love

Been a long time coming for The Transpersonal Papers (1861-2010).

Three editors, two proofreaders, two designers, four printers, and hours, days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes, (I know I'm overstating), of writing, traveling, shooting, editing, remembering, hiking, and more writing, shooting, and editing, but I'm not complaining. No, no, no.

And apologies for not having the dough right now, to print The Transpersonal Papers as a coffee-table book as I had originally planned. ($10,000, it would have cost. Maybe someday.) But you now can buy it, for $14.95, as an Ebook on the Apple IPad, and I expect it to be available within a couple days on the Nook and the Kindle as well.

I just looked at it on my new IPad. The photos, text and design look grand.

And as an extra surprise, Bozo In Love is now up on IBooks too, ($9.95), as well as the rest of my catalog: Flame Spirals, Hoop Dancing, and Dementia Blues, on IBooks, Nook and Kindle.

Just in time for Christmas.

And don't worry. All but The Transpersonal Papers can still be bought as a book book through Fezziwig Press. I have plenty. Just go to www.fezziwigpressonline.com, for the hardbounds and paperbacks, but go to ITunes, today, (and Kindle and Nook, soon) for the ebooks.

Heavy sigh from my third story apartment balcony. I look out onto the Tucson city lights in the valley below. Cold, dry air embraces me. I inhale deeply. Exhale.

A very good night in the desert.

Think I'll make a cup of coffee with egg nog and play some Angry Birds on my new IPad.

Time to celebrate.

 

"Christ Church, Raleigh, N.C."

"Christ Church, Raleigh, N.C." (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

My sister Pamela used to go to Christ Church when she was momentarily pissed out at St. Mark's, but she always came back to St. Mark's. She was a mighty opinionated woman.

I watched the last Harry Potter movie last night. Cried a couple times, once when characters I loved died, once when I wished my sister hadn't.

"Manns Chapel, Chatham County, North Carolina"

"Manns Chapel, Chatham County, North Carolina" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

Off to Raleigh tomorrow, one last time. (I've taken the 12:45 Delta from Tucson to Atlanta so many times in the past few months, I expect the flight attendents to say "Hello, Mr. Jenks. How are you?")

I'm renting a Penske truck on Tuesday, loading up the last of Pamela's things to bring them here to Tucson (A nice blond-wood work table, a huge chest-of-drawers, Pamela's old single bed from when she was a kid, and Mama Lillie's secretary desk I inherited in 1983, but had no way to get it out here. And some Christmas presents my sister wrapped before she died. Sweet of her, eh?)

And on Wednesday, I am closing on the Amherst house. Very sad but not for the reasons you might think. Since my father and mother did no maintenance on the house at all, basically letting my sister live in an old damp, moldy house, rent-free, for 20 plus years, The Amherst House, which would have been worth $250,000 or more on the recovering real estate market of Raleigh is now being sold for $110,000, as a tear-down. The man who is buying the home says he's going to fix it up but I don't quite believe him. (He has made plans to cut down all the trees on the property. That sounds like a tear-down to me. The land is worth $100,000 so he's getting a piece-of-crap Cape Cod for $10,000.)

Speaking of trees, the one bugaboo left to do is I have to get rid of the firewood in the basement. Some nice people from Pamela's church in Raleigh have taken some of it, but I have to dispose of the rest, before closing on Wednesday. I'm hoping the Wake County dump will take the logs but they may not. No one on Craiglist wants them, and that poor church in South Raleigh can't use them either. So I may just have to take the firewood back to the woods, unloading it along a nice piece of river.

I kind of hope I get arrested.

"Stu Jenks, artist and photographer from Tucson, Arizona, was arrested today for putting wood back into the woods. Reports are that Jenks laughed hysterically as the sheriff slapped on the handcuffs. It is uncertain if he was intoxicated at the time."

So I'll be away for about ten days. I'm taking my Rollei with me and some Christmas lights too, to perhaps do some hoop dancing photography in the moonlight. I am driving across some pretty country, don't you know? And if you want to buy the image rights of something, or a hardbound book, you'll have to wait until I get home. Then again, some of my books are on the IPad now. Hint, hint. But no worries. Just letting you all know I'll gone for a while.

OK. I should stop writing now. I really should. I really really should. But I'm not.

On a book note, I am writing a conclusion to Dementia Blues, called Dementia Red, telling the stories of Pamela and Mary Jenks' last days and weeks. With photos too.

And to those of you in Virginia who needed to ambush me at my sister and mother's burials, to tell me how you didn't like Dementia Blues (You know who you are), I guess you forgot I make a very small living writing things as well as photographing things. And eventhough I'm getting a little demented now myself, my memory is still pretty good. I'll be changing your names and the places in Dementia Red, but I won't be changing your words.

Oh, and shame on you for what you did to me, that rainy afternoon, and shame on you for what you did to my mother, three years ago.

Shame.

And as one of you jerks mockingly said to me that day in The Northern Neck,

"Oh, Stu, you aren't suffering financially."

Yea, I am. In a few ways, financials just being one.

I'm not getting much cash from these two estates. Pamela didn't have a pot to piss in, nor a window to throw it out of, and we had almost gone through all of Mary's money taking care of her here in Tucson before she died, with the expensive adult care home and all.

But I am grateful that there is some cash in the estates and in the sale of the Raleigh House; to pay all the heirs and debts of my mother (but sadly, many of Pamela's hospital bills will go unpaid); to pay for two nice gravestones for my mother and sister; to pay for the plane tickets and motels and the Penske truck and the rental cars these past few months; to pay for the storage locker here in Tucson; to have a little to give to some people who are in need; and to have some cash for me to get out of credit card debt at the end of all this; but I am not getting rich off of the death of my family.

So, to you Rich White Trash in Virginia, two words. Fuck you.

And even though I don't miss my mother very much, I do miss Pamela a lot. I feel a lot of compassion for her journey through life. She never got away from my crazy family. I did. And Pamela died way ahead of her time. Sure, she shares responsibility for her life, but my mother, on numerous occasions, told my sister, "...you aren't pretty enough to ever get married, Pam..."

Pamela was over 200 pounds when she died, and she never married.

Be careful what you say to your children. One hurtful statement probably won't fuck them up. A couple dozen times probably will.

I miss you Sis. Thanks for being a nicer person the last six months of your life. I truly wish I could call you on the phone and tell you what those horrible people at Mary's old church said to me after I buried you all. I wish I could say, "You were right, Pamela. You were so right."

And I do believe I feel your spirit these days, but it isn't the same as hearing you cuss like a sailor and hearing you laugh like a crazy person. I miss that.

Big hug and kiss, Pamela. Know that I love you. I hope I'm doing right by you.

And Mary, may the light of God always shine on you. I feel blessed that your dementia made you into a sweeter Mom. Mostly. And most people are loving you in Dementia Blues. You are a bit of a superstar, Mom.

OK, enough jokes and resentments. I need to finish packing.

See you all when I get home, and maybe I'll see a few of you on the road.

Look for a small Penske truck with firewood falling out its back and the police chasing it.

That'll be me.

Rev. Steve Keplinger's Sermon at the funeral of Mary Elton Saum Jenks

Rev. Steve Keplinger's Sermon at the funeral of Mary Elton Saum Jenks, Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Tucson, Arizona, July, 30th, 2011.

[Photo: "Mary's Leaning, Tucson, Arizona" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks.]

    In the name of the God who is present with us in our deepest grief.  Amen.

    There are not many things more difficult in life than what you have just heard Stu Jenks achieve.  Capturing the essence of any individual who has lived a full and complete life is always a formidable task.  Doing so for someone as complex as Mary Jenks is darn near impossible.  But accomplishing all this when you are the one living in the land of intense personal loss and grief, well, that is almost unthinkable.  In the midst of losing both his mom and his sister, Stu has done this beautiful thing.  Thank you Stu for being willing to put yourself in this place of extreme vulnerability.  We are all the richer for hearing your Mom’s story from your lips.
    As Stu and others have shared their memories of Mary with me, I too have struggled with a way to capture such a brilliantly enigmatic character in so many words.  Mary was devilishly difficult to pigeonhole.  She was the epitome of the classic, graceful, elegant southern belle and she had all the refined sensibilities that go with it.  But at the exact same time, she was so opinionated and forceful that she did not want to let you up until you saw things her way.  Similarly, she was so fiercely and proudly Episcopalian that many were often a bit nervous to tell Mary that they were in another denomination.  But simultaneously, Mary’s theology was all about full inclusion of everyone and she absolutely and unequivocally believed that God is way too big for one religion. 
    While the most well known colloquial way to describe Episcopalians is to call them God’s frozen chosen, and while Mary was the most Episcopal like person most have ever experienced, Mary was never frozen a day in her life.  No one had any difficulty knowing exactly what was on her mind and no one ever stated their position more emphatically or with more fervor.  And while Mary had a deep and abiding relationship with God, the last thing she would tell you is that she was chosen.  In fact, as Stu has made clear to us, Mary believed we were all chosen and that Episcopalians certainly had no inside track to anything.
    This afternoon, we will all take part in the act of communion as a part of this service because it was so instrumental to Mary’s belief system.  For her, communion was as powerful an act as any of us can ever take part, because it captures the essence of the beloved community.  She was all about community, but at the same time, she was more of a rugged individualist than John Wayne. 
    Finally, since the earliest days of Anglicanism during the reign of Elizabeth I, this has been the church of the Via Media, the middle way.  We have always been about finding a way to allow very diverse philosophies to live together.  Our goal has always been to be a church where people could worship together despite our theological differences.  Never has an individual been more steeped in Anglicanism and the Via Media than Mary Jenks.  But in the midst of that Anglicanism, all of you who experienced the real Mary know that she, in the nicest, most southern way possible, made it crystal clear that it was, “My way or the highway.”
    How do we reconcile such a dichotomy?  More importantly, how did Mary?  This afternoon, I would suggest to all of you that for Mary, it was not difficult at all.  In fact, I would suggest that she never saw any of this as contradictory in the least.  She saw it as a simple matter of living her faith.  She saw it as embracing the very heart of Anglicanism.
    If there is a standard methodology for attacking Anglicanism and the whole idea of The Via Media, it is that this church does not stand for anything.  Via Media is often heard in today’s culture as a theology that does not come down in favor of or against anything.  It is heard as a theology for the wishy-washy.
    But as Mary Jenks knew so well, that is not what Via Media means at all.  Via Media is about balance, it is about realizing that Newton’s third law of Physics applies to faith also, for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction.  In Taoism, this is referred to as the yin/yang.  In Native American tradition, it is called walking the red road.  The point is, it is about balance in your life and holding the tension that exists when things are not black and white.  What Mary knew better than all of us is that this is the nature of the world.  As much as we would all love a world where evil and good are easily discernible from one another, none of us actually believes that.  We might want our religion to be simplistic because of the complex world surrounding us, but we know darn well that it is not and cannot be “God said it, I believe it and that settles it.”  Mary knew that this does not settle anything.  The key for a helpful faith then, is to teach us how to live in ambiguity, to live in the tension of the place between being a southern lady and also getting across your point.  The tension between being a fiercely loyal Episcopalian while also being a universalist.
    That is the Via Media that Mary embraced, a faith that was never for one second wishy washy, a faith that kept life in balance by being the enigma that the world saw. 
    It is this faith that allowed Mary Jenks to see beyond the notion that church is all about “making nice.”  It is what allowed her to take sides when Anglicanism came under attack from the inside in the last 20 years.  When most sat around during the battles going on in this Communion and said, “Can’t we all just get along?”, it was Mary Jenks deep faith, steeped in the theology of Anglicanism that convinced her that she had no choice but to defend the ordination of women in this church.  It is what convinced her that she had no choice but to stand for up for full inclusion of gays and lesbians in this church because she knew darn well that this is what Jesus would have done.  She was able to do so even though almost everyone in her generation disagreed with her, because she understood the nature of Anglicanism and was able to interpret the words of Jesus for a new time and place.
    That beloved, is an amazing accomplishment.  But Mary Jenks went far beyond that.  She made this bold stand in the midst of the greatest siege of The Episcopal Church.  Because while the press was concentrating on the flamboyant events occurring in the Diocese of San Joaquin and Pittsburgh, the real battle for this church was going on in Mary’s home Diocese of Virginia.  When Gene Robinson was elected Bishop of New Hampshire, the last piece was put in place.  Those who were still fuming within the church about women’s ordination, saw this as their opportunity to storm the bastille.  They would start in Virginia, because many churches there, including Mary’s home parish of St. Mary’s White Chapel, were incorporated before The Episcopal Church had formed.  If these properties were parishes before the Episcopal Church existed, they argued, then they could not legally be owned by The Episcopal Church, giving them the opportunity to not just leave the wider church, but take the property with them.  It was a brilliant strategy.
    What the defectors did not count on however, was Mary Jenks.  In the midst of it all, she stood firmly and resolutely with her Bishop and her friend, Peter Lee.  In the end, the coups would fail.  Mary stood for the Gospel and for the protection of Anglicanism and a church where everyone was welcome and included, even those who disagreed with her.
    I have to tell you, I cannot help but feel a bit cheated for not having had the opportunity to experience Mary in all her regal feistiness.  I have no doubt that she had the ability to be a royal pain, but it is also obvious that it was this same fierce character that gave her the ability to make such a strong impact on the world around her.  Her enigmatic ways went a long way to keeping intact the heart of The Episcopal Church and helping others to realize that all of us are children of God.
    The spirit and chutzpah of Mary Jenks is exactly what this church needs right now and in the years ahead.  It is exactly what Jesus taught us to be.  Mary’s service on the Standing Committee of the Diocese of Virginia and her role as a women’s historian in the church will not soon be forgotten.  Her love of church music and her years of service as a choir director will be a major part of her legacy.  But it will be her fiercely loyal protection of her friends and those who were being oppressed that will always make Mary a saint for me. 
    May each of us have the courage to follow her example and be an enigma to the world.  May each of us learn from her how to live in ambiguity and enjoy every moment of it.  May each of us relish every moment of life and always stand proudly with anyone and everyone who has been rejected by others, just as Mary taught us.  Amen.
 
  

The Funerals for Mary Saum Jenks (and a film for Pamela Jenks)

The Funerals For Mary Saum Jenks (and a film for Pamela Jenks)

Images: "Broken Lock, Bynam, North Carolina", "Maundy Thursday Hoop Dance, Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Tucson, Arizona" & "Mary Jenks' Last Five Days, Tucson, Arizona" (c) 2011 Stu Jenks

The dates have been set. Mary Jenk's' first funeral will be on Saturday, July 30th, 2011 at 2 p.m. at Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church at 2331 E. Adams, Tucson, Arizona. (The church is one block south of The Arizona Inn.) The service has been designed to not only bid farewell to my mother Mary, but also to allow all who attend to have the opportunity to grieve whatever losses they may have. I've personally chosen the music, hymns, creeds, and prayers, to not only reflect my mother's religious beliefs but my own spiritual values as well. Please come. A reception will be held afterwards in the Parish Hall adjacent to the church.

Also, on Saturday, September 17th, 2011 at 2 p.m. at St. Mary's Whitechapel on 5490 Whitechapel Road near Lancaster, Virginia, a second service will be performed for Mary Jenks. This will be a more traditional service. Also, at this service, both my mother Mary's and my sister Pamela's ashes will be buried at the Jenks family plot behind the Chapel. Those in the Virginia/North Carolina area may wish to attend this service.

Hope to see y'all at either of these two services.

At the botton of this post is the last image I took of Mary alive. It is an unpleasant image but I worked hard to make it less harsh. Mom never minded having pictures taken of her by me, in her final years of life. (see 'Dementia Blues'). She rather liked all the attention and she did love her son. I'll write more about Mary's death, but not now. Let's just say I was there when Mary died. It was very sad. I told her I loved her as she took her last breath. Truly, much like with my sister Pamela, Death was a blessing. Neither women now suffer.

And today, the last Harry Potter film came out. My sister Pamela was a huge fan of Rowlings' books and she was trying to stay alive long enough to see the film. She did not make it. I am profoundly sad about this, for she would have been at an early showing today. Tomorrow I will attend Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallow, Part Two in her honor. Perhaps, just perhaps, her spirit will take a seat next to mine.