“Bozo Below I’Itoi’s Cave,
Tohono O’Odham Reservation, Arizona”
“God, give me wings.”
As the word ‘wings’ leaves my mouth, I hear this deep thumping sound above me, like the blades of a tiny helicopter, but with a little reverb added.
Oh, oh. I’m not alone in here.
I’m surrounded by gifts to I’Itoi, brought up the steep trail by the devout. Not just Tohono O’odham Indians, mind you, but other tribes as well. I looked at some of the offerings closely after I entered the cave. I find a place for my gift, a pewter coin with an angel on one face. I know I will tell very few people what I see in here. I obviously will take no photographs. This is one of most sacred places in all of the American Southwest.
[I was praying for wings, for I’m quitting my day job in less than a month, and I’m scared. Resolute about it all, but still quite nervous. I like most spiritual mysteries in my life, but this is a big one. I have some coin saved up, that’ll last me six months or so. And I have some bankable skills, but most importantly, I have this deep gut feeling that it’s the right time to leave. Maybe past time. Hell, in my some of meditations, the voices are saying, “Leave your county job, before it kills your spirit completely.” Yikes.
But yikes or no yikes, I’ll need to make some real money sooner rather than later. I can run substance abuse therapy groups again, and I probably will, but I have other things to do. Big things. Big Art things. Big family things. Just plain big things. And I need to do them soon, and I need to fly as I doing them. Hence the prayer, ‘God, give me wings.’]
“Who are you?” I whisper to the sound in the cave. I hear it flutter loudly again. I begin to creep back toward the mouth of the cave. It’s either a bird or a bat. Probably a Mexican Bat. The bat won’t hurt me but it sure is scary to hear that thuck-thuck-thuck sound above my head.
“God give me wings,” I repeat.
Wings. Batwings. I smile. I’ll take batwings. I did make a name for myself, after all, doing nocturnal photography.
All’s quiet again in the cave. I raise a hand above my head.
“Take care, little fella,” I say to the bat I can’t see, up there somewhere.
I then turn, thank I’Itoi, and crawl out of his cave.