Fezziwig Press & Photography by Stu Jenks

"Bozette at The Baha'i House of Worship"

"Bozette at The Baha'i House of Worship, Wilmettte, Illinois"

(c) Stu Jenks, Thankgiving Weekend, 2009

    The smoked turkey is tasty. Some of the party guests? Not so much.
    “It’s so sad,” say the high-end waiter who brought a plantain dish to the feast.
    “He was the best general manager we ever had, and he began to come to work drunk. He started coming to work drunk because his mother is dying. It’s so sad.”
    I’ve heard just about enough. Prior to this comment, I’ve heard minutes of harsh criticism of the Not Hip Rich mixed with great adoration for the Cool Rich. Professional snowboarders: cool. The usual Powers-That-Be: Not Hip. The irony doesn’t escape me even though it seems to be escaping the speakers. Another guest makes her living teaching surfing to wealthy clients in a Central American country, yet when I asked about what board I should buy, myself, being a new born-again surfer, she blows me off. Add to that, she seems to look down on her students, the Not Hip Rich. Now, granted, I’ve done that too, with some of the wealthy entitled fucks I’ve had deal with in my Art Job, but I know it has nothing to do with their money. I’ve met far more selfish entitled middle-class people and working-class people than I have rich ones. And as my mother Mary taught me as a child: 'The Bible is misquoted all the time. Money is not the root of all evil. It’s the Love of money that is the root of all evil.' I also think what getting to me tonight by some (not all) of the party guests is this arrogant know-it-all bullshit that tends to exclude any new knowledge or lasting empathy for those different from ourselves. If you don’t believe like us, you suck. You have another view of life in this country other than mine, you are either stupid or just plain wrong.
    Add to that this fuck-money-but-I-love money attitude and I’m ready to blow.
    I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore.
    “My mother is dying and I don’t come to work drunk,” I say.
    “That’s so insensitive,” say the surfer girl. “You should be more compassionate.”
    I feel the heat rising in my body, going to my head and resting in my ears. Oh, oh. Don’t make Hulk angry.
    “Well,” I say, with the heat now coming out of my mouth, “I pray that the pilot who is flying me home to Tucson isn’t dealing with his mother dying, by coming to work drunk!!!”
    The table falls silent.
    Funny thing is? I drove to Chicago.
    The conversation continues but now I’m being iced out. The surfer and the waiter are ignoring me. When I make any comment now, even a compassionate one, or I’m just making small talk, they just give me a quick glance that says: ‘You don’t exist in our world anymore.’ Hunk is turning big and green now.
    I head into the kitchen where my friends, the host and hostess, are frantically cooking. Poor things, the thermometer was greatly inaccurate and the second turkey is not done. But I am.
    “I gotta go. I’m leaving, before I really say something that I have to apologize for. I’m sorry but I have enough of this shit.” I explain to them what’s been going on. They suggest I go for a walk, to not leave just yet. I begrudgingly agree. I tell a little white lie to the dinner guests and say I need to go outside to make a phone call. They couldn’t care less.
    After ranting to a close friend in Tucson about the Turkey Day bullshit I’m dealing with, I decide it is time to go. I’m too far gone now. Yes, I know I’ll miss the pie, but anyway.
    I walk back into the house, and address the dining room table.
    “I’m going to go. I’m pretty tired and I was just talking with a friend in Tucson, and my mother is having a tough time. She’s dying of dementia and I’ve been gone for about five days and she’s forgetting that I’m alive. She thinks I’m dead and it’s pretty sad, actually.”
    The look on Surfer Girl’s face changes, as does the waiter’s. Yea, assholes, my mother really is dying.
    “A friend is visiting her while I’m gone but it only helps so much.” I then tell a couple sweet and darkly funny Mary stories to flesh out my general situation. I think I actually see a hint of shame in their faces. Or is it just relief that I’m leaving. I don’t know.
    I say my good-byes to my good friends in the kitchen, and tell them again:
    “This really isn’t about them. It’s about me. If I was a better man, it wouldn’t piss me off so much.”
    We give each other hugs and I head for the door.

"Hoop Dancing" is here!!!

My long-awaited (at least to me) book "Hoop Dancing: More Journeys Through Nocturnal Photography" is now available. Simply click on the above link and it will take you to my website, where there are instructions on how to purchase it. I'm very proud of the book and very happy with the quality of the lithography. And many, many thanks to Gail Cross, master book designer, for her beautiful work, for her guidance on the bumpy road of publishing, and for her continued encouragement, as we prepare to print more good books at the newly formed Fezziwig Press publishing house. And of course, thanks to all of the supporters of my art, my photography, my writing and my life. Both well-known and virtually anonymous; both those with money and hope, and those who only have the gift of Love and Song to give. I thank you.

Love, Light, and Luck,

Stu

P.S. All books will be shipped Priority Mail, now and forever, so needless to say, I can get copies to you before Christmas. And a Happy New Decade to everyone as well.

[Image: "Hoop Dancing at Studio BR-549, Tucson, Arizona" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks]

"And then I began to see..."

"And then I began to see...", A press check of a signature of "Hoop Dancing", at Arizona Lithography, Tucson, Arizona (c) Fall 2009 Stu Jenks.

["Hoop Dancing", the book, should be available for shipment upon my return from Chicago. Go to my website at www.stujenks.com to order the book. And may all of you have a Happy Thanksgiving.]

(Meditation for the day: "It is what it is, and it ain't what it ain't")

VERITAS: Very Energetic Radiation Imaging Telescope Array System

VERITAS: Very Energetic Radiation Imaging Telescope Array System (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

    Located south of Tucson at the base of the Santa Rita Mountains, VERITAS, as their official website states, "is a major ground-based gamma-ray observatory with an array of four 12m optical reflectors for gamma-ray astronomy in the GeV- TeV energy range." Another sister educational website states, in more laymen's terms, that VERITAS "is an observatory built to study gamma rays from extreme astrophysical phenomena in the Universe. VERITAS is now scanning the night sky searching for remnants of exploded stars, distant active galaxies, powerful gamma ray bursts, and evidence of mysterious Dark Matter particles." When Dr. Gibbs told me on Thursday afternoon, that they had recently looked at a large gamma ray emission coming from an enormous black hole at the center of a galaxy, far far away, my first response was 'Wow.' When a physicist told me on Friday night, that they were looking at a supernova remnant that night, 'Wow' was my response. When I told friends and colleagues about this night shoot, the special place and what they studied there, their responses were, you guessed it, 'Wow!'

    The images in the post were taken on Thursday afternoon and Friday night, November 19-20, 2009 at or near the Array. Many, many thanks to Dr. Kenneth Gibbs, Sagar Godambe, Professor Reshmi Mukherjee of Columbia University, Arun Madhavan, and all of the staff and fellows at VERITAS. They were so helpful and very open to my shooting. And happy cosmic ray hunting to you all.

    [Images from the top to bottom: "T-1 at VERITAS", VERITAS Looking Toward Mexico", "VERITAS from the North", "Red-Tailed Hawk above VERITAS", "Bozo Looking at T-1, from above The Devil's Cash Box", "Sagar Leaving T-1", " Sagar and Reshmi in the Control Room", "T-2 at Dusk", , "Pleiades & T-1", "Stars in the Mirrors of T-2", and "Stars in the Mirrors of T-2 (Detail)"]

    Final Fun Fact: Veritas was also the Roman Goddess of Truth, daughter of Saturn and the mother of Virtue.

(And remember: click and/or double-click on the images and they become larger. And yes, the night shots are a bit grainy, due to the short time exposures and the high ISO, but every pinpoint of light you see is a star. All those dots of white in "T-1 at VERITAS" and "Pleiades & T-1" are stars, not digital grain. Lots and lots of stars.)

Geoff Notkin on the 2009 Tucson Open Studio Tour

    Goeff wrote a very nice piece about last weekend's Open Studio Tour. For me, it was the best experience I've had in the eight years I've been participating. Everyone (and I mean everyone) who visited my studio was smart, funny, interested and interesting, and downright great to be around, old friends and new visitors alike. Very different from the horrors of a couple years ago. It might just be me, but I don't think so. With Mary's dementia and all, I'm pretty stressed these days, so the joy (and cash in some cases) that the patrons brought was very welcome. Thank you all, and hope to see you all soon, either in person, online or through my books. Here's a link to Geoff's Article on the blog he writes for the Tucson Citizen.

[Photos of Elizabeth Frank's work and of me in my studio by Geoff Notkin. I didn't even know he took that shot of me. Very sneaky, Geoff]

From The 2009 All Souls' Procession

From The 2009 All Souls' Procession, Tucson, Arizona (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

[All images by Stu Jenks, except the bottom one of me in a kilt, taken by Tom Willett]

 

"Beaufort, South Carolina" by Robert Frank

"Beaufort, South Carolina, 1955" (detail) by Robert Frank

[Taken by me at the MOCA in Downtown Los Angeles in September. I had permission. Sadly, the images from "The Americans" series were very poorly lit, not like the same images I saw in August, at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. There, they were exquisitely lit. This, and others in the series are perfect photographs: The woman's radiant face, the sun behind her, the light pole that echos the Cross. Perfect. Other memories from MOCA: LA that day, were a class of tweens taking a tour of the museum and having their teacher or a docent tell them that the poorly-crafted, arrogant, nightmares-on-a-wall they were seeing, were actually good paintings. The look on the kids' faces was priceless. Remember, it was a child who told the townspeople that the Emperor had no clothes on. Sadly, the schoolkids weren't in the room with "The Americans." I bet they would have looks of awe on their faces, not wrinkled-up noses. Hopefully they got to see them before they left.]

"When people look at my pictures I want them to feel the way they do when they want to read a line of a poem twice." - Robert Frank.

Artist's Talk for "@1w/"

[Photograph of yours truly, taken by Annie Gordon, at the Artist's Talk for my show "@1w/". This show runs for another week at the Tucson Jewish Community Center. Thanks to all who came to the opening, to all who came to see it at other times, and to all of y'all, for your help along the way.]

"Six Extra Bones"

"Six Extra Bones" (c) 2009 Dr. Elaine Shapiro and Stu Jenks

[I hurt my right foot six weeks ago, jumping over a pool fence barefoot. It's been quite a bother for I couldn't put on my hiking boots, nor my cowboy boots. But I visited a great pediatrist the other day. It seems that some inflamed soft tissue is playing havok with a nerve bundle in one of my metatarsals. She gave me a miracle shot. She'll give me that same shot, twice a month, until the tissue is well. My foot feels better already.

But here's the cool thing.

I have extra bones in my feet. Three per foot. Seems that 10% of the population has extra bones in their feet. I have six all together. For a man who is more at home in hiking boots and on the high trail than anywhere else, this seems so appropriate. Thank You, God, for the extra bones.

I took a picture of the x-ray of my right foot. You can see two of the extra bones in it.

And thank you, Dr. Elaine Shapiro, for helping heal my foot.]

"At One With" [@1w/]: Opening this Thursday at TJCC

"@1w/" [At One With]: Opening this Thurday at TJCC

This Thursday, October 1st, from 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm at the Tucson Jewish Community Center at River and Dodge, I'll be having a little art party; an opening, a gathering of good folk, with sweets and all, to celebrate my new show "@1w/: At One With". I would love to see you there. A little art talk will be happening around 7. Below is the Artist Statement from the show. Come if you can. I'll have a big hug waiting for you (and some rugalah too.) See you soon.

Love, light, and luck,

Stu

“@1w/”
[At One With]
by Stu Jenks,
High Holy Days, 2009.


    With the High Holy Days and the Day of Atonement upon us, I thought about what the word “Atonement’ meant to me. To make amends with G-D. [Maybe.] To make right and correct the harms I’ve done to the people in my life. [Absolutely.] To forgive others. [Yes.] To forgive myself. [Harder to do.]
    The original Middle English words, for Yom Kipper were ‘At Onement”, meaning to be in harmony with G-D and his community. I thought about my own work, and saw, that on one level, that is just what I’m trying to do. I go to these places: the mountains, the deserts, the sea. I bring along Zippo lighters, Hula Hoops with Christmas lights, and small inflatable Bozos, to create a bit of magic, mystery and humor in these landscapes. But I always try to be ‘At-One-With” these places, to not impose myself so greatly as to harm or mock the land, to come with some reverence, even when I’m throwing a miniature Bozo punching bag in the air near some ancient petroglyphs.
    And then, like the mystic who travels deep into the forest to find a vision, not for himself primarily but for his people, I bring the images of the Hoop Dances, the Flames Spirals, the Bozos back to town, and display them for the community, showing the people the wonders I’ve found.
    And perhaps, by going on these lone spiritual sojourns into the wild, I am a better man: A man who will continue to make amends for his wrongs, and maybe, just maybe, becomes a less harmful, more loving and kinder human being.