Fezziwig Press & Photography by Stu Jenks

"Infrared Bozo in Sequoia National Park"

"Infrared Bozo in Sequoia National Park, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozette went shopping..."

"Bozette went shopping..., El Centro, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

    After she and Bozo broke up, Bozette went shopping to ease her pain, only to find that the Mervyn’s Department Store had closed down. She stared at the boarded-up storefront and wondered, ‘What do I do now? Not about the shopping, but about Bozo and I. What do WE do now?’
    The hot desert wind picked up, blowing her red hair into her face. She listened hard to the wind but it gave her no answers. She bowed her head and cried.

[From the upcoming book, "Bozos In Love"]

   

"Beaufort, South Carolina" by Robert Frank

"Beaufort, South Carolina, 1955" (detail) by Robert Frank

[Taken by me at the MOCA in Downtown Los Angeles in September. I had permission. Sadly, the images from "The Americans" series were very poorly lit, not like the same images I saw in August, at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. There, they were exquisitely lit. This, and others in the series are perfect photographs: The woman's radiant face, the sun behind her, the light pole that echos the Cross. Perfect. Other memories from MOCA: LA that day, were a class of tweens taking a tour of the museum and having their teacher or a docent tell them that the poorly-crafted, arrogant, nightmares-on-a-wall they were seeing, were actually good paintings. The look on the kids' faces was priceless. Remember, it was a child who told the townspeople that the Emperor had no clothes on. Sadly, the schoolkids weren't in the room with "The Americans." I bet they would have looks of awe on their faces, not wrinkled-up noses. Hopefully they got to see them before they left.]

"When people look at my pictures I want them to feel the way they do when they want to read a line of a poem twice." - Robert Frank.

"Infrared Bozo at 'I Love Teryyake & Sushi' "

 

"Infrared Bozo at 'I Love Teryyaki & Sushi', San Francisco, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozo at Matador State Beach"

"Bozo at Matador State Beach, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozo at Giant Forest, Sequoia National Park"

"Bozo at Giant Forest, Sequoia National Park, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozo at Disney Hall"

"Bozo at Walt Disney Concert Hall, Los Angeles, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

[The little string piece is called "Third Birth Matrix." It's by me with much help from my computer. It'll be on "Soundtracks for Photographs, Vol. 3", whenever I get the jack to put it out. Hope you enjoy it, and the photo of Bozo outside of the Concert Hall.]

Download Third Birth Matrix '09

"Bozo Visits His Father's Grave"

"Bozo Visits His Father's Grave, Mount Sanai Memorial Park, Los Angeles, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Our Lady of the Rosary: For my mother Mary"

 "Our Lady of the Rosary Church, Little Italy, San Diego, California" (For my mother Mary) (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

[Chapter who-knows-what from the book "Dementia Blues]

    Jessica, the nurse, changes Mom’s diaper as I watch. Mary almost fell out of bed, just minutes before my visit.
    “Oh, Stu. I don’t know what is going on!”
    “I know, Mom. You almost fell out of bed.”
    “No, I didn’t!”
    “Yes, you did, Mary,” Jessica says, gently.
    “Yes. You did, Mom. But it’s OK that you don’t remember,” I say.
    Mary is suffering. Every old ache and pain is brand new, no matter that most are decades old. Her bedroom is forever unfamiliar, in spite of the old prints and needlepoints on the wall that she has owned for years. She often thinks she needs to do something, but she doesn’t know what that something is. I tell her often that this is where she has lived for almost a year. She is surprised every time.
    Later, I just talk about my day; her, laying in her hosital bed, me, sitting on a ancient wooden chair we brought from Virginia. Many days, my chatting about my life is plenty for her. She loves to hear me talk about this and that. She often responds with an “Oh, that’s good.” or “I know you miss your friend so” or  “You know I love you.” Today was “You look so beautiful to me.” But that didn’t last. The light in her eye changes, replaced with the haunted stare of suffering, confusion, and fear of being in a world, a house, a room, a bed, that is perpetually strange to you. The only joy today is that she know me, knows her son loves her, knows that he is here with her, right here, right now.
    I unhinge the gate and walk to my car: thinking, that if Mary lives more than six months to a year, I’m going to be pretty pissed off at God. I know the dementia isn’t God’s fault. That God doesn’t let suffering end, or let Mom die, just because I want it to be so. But God? Christ! Throw the old lady a bone!  And guide me daily in what I need to do and not do with my mother. And if you can, take her. Please take her. In her sleep would be nice, but I don’t care how anymore. Just take her. Soon. Please.
   


   

"Bozo Off Rockaway Beach"

"Bozo Off Rockaway Beach, Pacifica, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks