Fezziwig Press & Photography by Stu Jenks

"Bozo near Sterling, Colorado"

"Bozo near Sterling, Colorado" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozette at The Baha'i House of Worship"

"Bozette at The Baha'i House of Worship, Wilmettte, Illinois"

(c) Stu Jenks, Thankgiving Weekend, 2009

    The smoked turkey is tasty. Some of the party guests? Not so much.
    “It’s so sad,” say the high-end waiter who brought a plantain dish to the feast.
    “He was the best general manager we ever had, and he began to come to work drunk. He started coming to work drunk because his mother is dying. It’s so sad.”
    I’ve heard just about enough. Prior to this comment, I’ve heard minutes of harsh criticism of the Not Hip Rich mixed with great adoration for the Cool Rich. Professional snowboarders: cool. The usual Powers-That-Be: Not Hip. The irony doesn’t escape me even though it seems to be escaping the speakers. Another guest makes her living teaching surfing to wealthy clients in a Central American country, yet when I asked about what board I should buy, myself, being a new born-again surfer, she blows me off. Add to that, she seems to look down on her students, the Not Hip Rich. Now, granted, I’ve done that too, with some of the wealthy entitled fucks I’ve had deal with in my Art Job, but I know it has nothing to do with their money. I’ve met far more selfish entitled middle-class people and working-class people than I have rich ones. And as my mother Mary taught me as a child: 'The Bible is misquoted all the time. Money is not the root of all evil. It’s the Love of money that is the root of all evil.' I also think what getting to me tonight by some (not all) of the party guests is this arrogant know-it-all bullshit that tends to exclude any new knowledge or lasting empathy for those different from ourselves. If you don’t believe like us, you suck. You have another view of life in this country other than mine, you are either stupid or just plain wrong.
    Add to that this fuck-money-but-I-love money attitude and I’m ready to blow.
    I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore.
    “My mother is dying and I don’t come to work drunk,” I say.
    “That’s so insensitive,” say the surfer girl. “You should be more compassionate.”
    I feel the heat rising in my body, going to my head and resting in my ears. Oh, oh. Don’t make Hulk angry.
    “Well,” I say, with the heat now coming out of my mouth, “I pray that the pilot who is flying me home to Tucson isn’t dealing with his mother dying, by coming to work drunk!!!”
    The table falls silent.
    Funny thing is? I drove to Chicago.
    The conversation continues but now I’m being iced out. The surfer and the waiter are ignoring me. When I make any comment now, even a compassionate one, or I’m just making small talk, they just give me a quick glance that says: ‘You don’t exist in our world anymore.’ Hunk is turning big and green now.
    I head into the kitchen where my friends, the host and hostess, are frantically cooking. Poor things, the thermometer was greatly inaccurate and the second turkey is not done. But I am.
    “I gotta go. I’m leaving, before I really say something that I have to apologize for. I’m sorry but I have enough of this shit.” I explain to them what’s been going on. They suggest I go for a walk, to not leave just yet. I begrudgingly agree. I tell a little white lie to the dinner guests and say I need to go outside to make a phone call. They couldn’t care less.
    After ranting to a close friend in Tucson about the Turkey Day bullshit I’m dealing with, I decide it is time to go. I’m too far gone now. Yes, I know I’ll miss the pie, but anyway.
    I walk back into the house, and address the dining room table.
    “I’m going to go. I’m pretty tired and I was just talking with a friend in Tucson, and my mother is having a tough time. She’s dying of dementia and I’ve been gone for about five days and she’s forgetting that I’m alive. She thinks I’m dead and it’s pretty sad, actually.”
    The look on Surfer Girl’s face changes, as does the waiter’s. Yea, assholes, my mother really is dying.
    “A friend is visiting her while I’m gone but it only helps so much.” I then tell a couple sweet and darkly funny Mary stories to flesh out my general situation. I think I actually see a hint of shame in their faces. Or is it just relief that I’m leaving. I don’t know.
    I say my good-byes to my good friends in the kitchen, and tell them again:
    “This really isn’t about them. It’s about me. If I was a better man, it wouldn’t piss me off so much.”
    We give each other hugs and I head for the door.

VERITAS: Very Energetic Radiation Imaging Telescope Array System

VERITAS: Very Energetic Radiation Imaging Telescope Array System (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

    Located south of Tucson at the base of the Santa Rita Mountains, VERITAS, as their official website states, "is a major ground-based gamma-ray observatory with an array of four 12m optical reflectors for gamma-ray astronomy in the GeV- TeV energy range." Another sister educational website states, in more laymen's terms, that VERITAS "is an observatory built to study gamma rays from extreme astrophysical phenomena in the Universe. VERITAS is now scanning the night sky searching for remnants of exploded stars, distant active galaxies, powerful gamma ray bursts, and evidence of mysterious Dark Matter particles." When Dr. Gibbs told me on Thursday afternoon, that they had recently looked at a large gamma ray emission coming from an enormous black hole at the center of a galaxy, far far away, my first response was 'Wow.' When a physicist told me on Friday night, that they were looking at a supernova remnant that night, 'Wow' was my response. When I told friends and colleagues about this night shoot, the special place and what they studied there, their responses were, you guessed it, 'Wow!'

    The images in the post were taken on Thursday afternoon and Friday night, November 19-20, 2009 at or near the Array. Many, many thanks to Dr. Kenneth Gibbs, Sagar Godambe, Professor Reshmi Mukherjee of Columbia University, Arun Madhavan, and all of the staff and fellows at VERITAS. They were so helpful and very open to my shooting. And happy cosmic ray hunting to you all.

    [Images from the top to bottom: "T-1 at VERITAS", VERITAS Looking Toward Mexico", "VERITAS from the North", "Red-Tailed Hawk above VERITAS", "Bozo Looking at T-1, from above The Devil's Cash Box", "Sagar Leaving T-1", " Sagar and Reshmi in the Control Room", "T-2 at Dusk", , "Pleiades & T-1", "Stars in the Mirrors of T-2", and "Stars in the Mirrors of T-2 (Detail)"]

    Final Fun Fact: Veritas was also the Roman Goddess of Truth, daughter of Saturn and the mother of Virtue.

(And remember: click and/or double-click on the images and they become larger. And yes, the night shots are a bit grainy, due to the short time exposures and the high ISO, but every pinpoint of light you see is a star. All those dots of white in "T-1 at VERITAS" and "Pleiades & T-1" are stars, not digital grain. Lots and lots of stars.)

"Infrared Bozo in Sequoia National Park"

"Infrared Bozo in Sequoia National Park, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozette went shopping..."

"Bozette went shopping..., El Centro, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

    After she and Bozo broke up, Bozette went shopping to ease her pain, only to find that the Mervyn’s Department Store had closed down. She stared at the boarded-up storefront and wondered, ‘What do I do now? Not about the shopping, but about Bozo and I. What do WE do now?’
    The hot desert wind picked up, blowing her red hair into her face. She listened hard to the wind but it gave her no answers. She bowed her head and cried.

[From the upcoming book, "Bozos In Love"]

   

"Bozette's Bluff"

"Bozette's Bluff, South of Cathy's Fault, Arizona" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

[Bozette, herself, is visible in this photograph. She is in color. The mountains and cactus are obviously, in black and white.]

"Bozo at Matador State Beach"

"Bozo at Matador State Beach, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozo at Giant Forest, Sequoia National Park"

"Bozo at Giant Forest, Sequoia National Park, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

"Bozette at the Bisbee 1000 Great Stair Climb"

"Bozette at the Bisbee 1000 Great Stair Climb" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

[The first two images were taken by me. The bottom image of Bozette and I, participating in the Ice Man Competition was taken by Cathy Spann.]

"Bozo at Disney Hall"

"Bozo at Walt Disney Concert Hall, Los Angeles, California" (c) 2009 Stu Jenks

[The little string piece is called "Third Birth Matrix." It's by me with much help from my computer. It'll be on "Soundtracks for Photographs, Vol. 3", whenever I get the jack to put it out. Hope you enjoy it, and the photo of Bozo outside of the Concert Hall.]

Download Third Birth Matrix '09